It's Not Perfect but It's the Picture of My Life

I hate being in pictures which is probably why I am always the photographer. However, I do worry that my kids will never have pictures that I am in, so I try to get in a few from time to time.

Well, a few weeks ago, I saw a few pictures where the mom is kissing the baby. They are cute pictures and as a bonus, it seems to make the mom's face look thin.

So I decide to try to take a picture like this...

After a few tries, my pictures turned out like this...

A tried a few more times with no avail, but then I realized...this is my life. This a "true" selfie.  I am kissing my daughter because I love her but looking in another direction because something else was probably ongoing. My daughter is crying because she is a diva who cries when she does not get what she wants. (Pray for me with this one!)  My son is photobombing because he is crazy and has to make sure that he gets attantion also.  For right now, my life is not a pretty picture, it is a crazy one, but I will take it!

Moms, School Starting Can Be Tough, but You are Doing Better than You Think

Moms, I just wanted to remind you that school starting is a hard transition, and you are better than you think. 

This is a time of year for mothers of school aged children full of mixed emotions and issues. In some ways we are so excited to have summer over and in some ways it needed to last just a little longer. Here are some of the contrasts going on in my house.

I love the earlier bed times as school starts, but the early wake-up call can be a bear.

I love the more regular schedule, but I hate the loss of freedom that summer offers.

I love that I hear, “I am bored, what can I do?” less often but I hate how busy we are some days.

I love that sports start because my son loves them and I know they are good for him, but some days the rigor of the practice and game schedule is frustrating.

I love the socialization that school offers along with the additional playdates and birthday parties, but I do not always love the mess after a playdate or how expensive the birthday gift totals become.

I know how important learning is and love to see something “click” for my child, but I often want to kill the person who invented homework.

Then there are some things that I just hate about school starting such as the need to do laundry more often to make sure there are some “school clothes” and sport uniforms clean.

Moms of the world, this is a tough transition, but you are getting through it.  You may be dropping off at early care or school in your PJ pants, but your child is there and dressed with their back-pack on.  World-war three may have happened at your house last night, but the homework was completed. You may have battled over going to bed or waking up, but somewhere in the middle, everyone slept, at least a little. You may be dragging through the day, but you are making it. You are treading water. You are doing better than you believe…I promise. So, pat yourself on the back, grab your favorite beverage; pumpkin coffee, wine, whatever and rest for minute. You deserve it!  And you know what? This transition is hard for the whole family, so tonight after the homework is done, sit together and play a board game, have a bowl of ice cream or watch a show together.  Show them, that it is okay to take a minute a relax sometimes, even during this busy school year.

When Did We Get So Uptight?

I love reading blogs and articles from other mothers about the ups and downs of parenting. However, lately, I see that there seem to be a lot of “rules” and a strict need to stay within their confines. How did that happen? Everything is so structured; even play time is “structured play.”

What really got me thinking this was article that a mom wrote on HuffPost about being “shamed” for giving her kids pretzels in the mall. What amazed me, was not only that someone made her feel bad for eating a pretzel with her kids, but also, that she felt the need to defend it. She explains that she and her kids eat healthy and pretzels are one of the few things she bends on.  I get trying to feed your family healthy things, but for so many people, it seems that they are doing this because it is in the “new-and-improved parent rulebook.”  There are these expectations that have been put out there that seem to think families should all live in a similar box, but why?

How did things get so structured? What happened to the freedom of being a child? Do kids even climb trees anymore or might that risk their future MLB career that their parents are nurturing at age 5 by already paying for private batting practice?

Even summers seem so structured.  Kids are constantly at camps and “enrichment” activities. Not only is their TV time limited, but so is their free play time.  Who says that kids can’t learn just as much playing some days as they can in extra-curriculars? Playtime uses their imagination and teaches them the rules of the playground, which often translate into the rules of life.  

Found on Vanessa Hudgens Tumbler

Now, before you get all excited and think that my child lives like Tarzan with no rules, watching TV all day and going to bed at midnight, let me be honest, I am the queen of the rule-followers and love structure. I also love research and respect that our kids are healthier and safer because of safety strides that have been made for things like car-seats and healthier lunches. I just think we need to loosen up a bit and remember that most things, in moderation, are fine.  A pretzel at the mall or even a candy bar once in a while is not going to ruin our kids’ organs or their eating-habits forever.  Skipping reading time before bed because their favorite team is playing in the playoffs and they want to watch the last few minutes is not going to make them illiterate. And, I even think that going out of the house in striped pants and character shirt that doesn’t match does not mean that they won’t be respectably dressed adults.

I am not saying that rules and structure are not important, I just think, maybe, we need to loosen up a little.
 

First Birthday Cake Smash Photoshoot

My baby girl turns one tomorrow, so I did a “Cake Smash” shoot with her at mom mom’s last weekend.  I am not a photographer, but I love to pretend like I am one. I have a decent camera and Photoshop which I know just enough about to make me dangerous.

I do not own a fancy backdrop, so I just used to party decorations on a while wall and a sheet on the floor.  My sister has a great eye so she helped me with it.   I am not sure if it is because I am biased about how cute Ella is, but I think the pictures turned out quite cute!

Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

Happy First Birthday, Eliana Marie!

Tomorrow, my little princess turns one! I am not sure if it is because having two kids is busier than having one, or if my memory is failing me, but it seems to have passed by so much faster this time.  I feel it was just last month that I could not imagine my life with 2 children. I feel like it was last week that I held her little newborn self curled up on my chest and, I feel like it was just yesterday that she looked so tiny in her big crib as I laid her in it for the first time.  It really is amazing how fast they turn from this tiny baby into little humans with personalities, and boy does Ella have a personality. She knows what she wants, when she wants and how she wants. (She may have gotten that from her momma!) She also smiles at you in a way that makes your heart light up as if you are the best thing she has ever seen. She is so funny and smart, and curious and determined. She is certainly her own person, already!

As my little girls turns one, I pray for her today and in her future. I pray that she dream big but keep her feet on the ground. I pray that she love with her whole heart and be loved the same way. I pray that she keep her mind open and her morals on close-hold. I pray that she enjoy life while being responsible and mature. I pray that she learn from her mistakes and disappointments in a way that makes her stronger and happier.  I pray that she can recognize challenges but find something good in everything. I pray that she surround herself with people that treat her well and show her kindness and support and that she do the same for them. I pray that she show respect to all people, recognizing the respect humanity deserves, even though some humans may not behave in a way that seems deserving. I pray that she thirst for knowledge, in school as well as in life. Most importantly, I pray that she love God with her heart soul and mind.

Happy Birthday, sweet Eliana Marie! Although I know that you will challenge me, test me, argue with me and even disappoint me, I also know that you will bring me extreme joy and I will always love you. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you.

Maybe Being Surrounded by Each Other Isn't Enough

I belong to a moms’ group on Facebook that shares ongoings in our lives and this week, with the death of Robin Williams, we were talking about depression and support.  In one post, one of the women said something that really hit me.   She said, “I think God designed us to be connected to others, not surrounded by others.” I want to say that again, “I think God designed us to be connected to others, not surrounded by others”. 

If you let that really sink it, you may find, like I did, that this is something so many of us need to hear. In a world of technology we are often “connected” by social media, surrounded by the words of each other but are we really connecting with each other?  Do we have at least a few people to which we communicate with and relate to?   How often do we look another person in the eye or even talk on the phone with someone and really focus on them, knowing that they are doing the same? Do we even really connect with those closest to us? Do we take the time to sit with our kids, our spouses, our siblings, our parents, our friends and make every effort to connect with them. Do we spend time together doing what they like to do or teaching them about something that interests us or do we just sit near each other in silence with our face in our phone?     

Maybe it’s time to turn off the TV system in car and talk to each other or at least bond over singing a song at the top of our lungs and laughing when the next car over looks at us like we are crazy. Maybe it’s time to pull up a chair next to our kids and watch their shows or play their games with them in an effort to connect so that next time they may talk to us when we turn the TV off.  Maybe more often we need to go outside with our kids instead of telling them to go outside.  Maybe it is time to ask our spouse how their day was and really listen when the answer.  Maybe we need to make more time for girls night and date night.

Our lives are busy, I understand that, but are they busy with the right things? Are we making the most of our time? Are we putting people first and things last?  When we only have a short time with the people in our lives are we making the most of that time?  

When I read the post in my moms’ group, these and so many more thoughts ran through my head.  I also thought about the fact that so many of us have” friends” on facebook, but do we have friends?  Do we have a support group and are we part of someone’s support group?  Are we connecting in a way that we are really sharing of ourselves in way that matters?

That sentence, the one at the top that I repeated twice, is so simple, yet so deep.  I hope that you will take the time to think about it and make an effort to connect with someone.  While you’re at it, maybe you could take some time to connect with yourself. Many of us need that, too.   

Family Friendly Things to Do in Maryland (Balt/DC metro area)

Family time is so important but sometimes things like the movies and mini-golf can get expensive.  Also, sometimes, I want to do something new and fun that we all will like.   This summer, I did a search of family-friendly things to do that were not too far.  It found myself on many websites and here is a round-up of some of my favorites. I tried to keep them fairly inexpensive for the most part.  I did not add obvious items like amusement parks. I hope you can find something new and fun for your family!   

I linked the titles. I had hoped to give more information per location but I was too busy enjoying these places with my kids! J

1.       National Harbor – Sure there are plenty of places to shop and eat at National Harbor, but there is more than that. During different seasons they have cool experiences. For example, over the summer they have outdoor summer movies on Sundays and in the winter the Gaylord Hotel has a free  light show and it snows inside.  If you want to spend a little money you could take a boat ride to Old Town Alexandria or go see the ICE experience where they build a fantasy land all out of ICE.  ICE is a little pricey but is very cool!

Light Show at the Gaylord
at Nation Harbor

2.       JBarW Ranch Rodeo – JBarW Ranch in Union Bridge hosts rodeos on Saturday Nights in the summer. They have bull riding and other rodeo events that vary depending on the weekend.  We loved it  so much, I posted about it and we have been back every summer.  

 

3.     Pick-your-own fruit Larriland and Baughers Farms – Both farms have experiences that allow you to pick your own fruit. As well, they have various activities throughout the year.
  

4.     Local Library – I know this may sound cheesy, but check the schedule at your local library; they have more than just story-time.  My local library has Lego day and the bubble lady. You may want to check yours out, too. 



5.       Cascade lake – Cascade Lake is Located in Hampstead.  Their website states that they have a beautiful 6-acre lake, nestled among 70 acres of rolling hills and wooded areas. Cascade Lake is a spring fed lake with a gently sloping sandy bottom. It has a large roped-off are for swimming which includes various size waterslides and platforms. All of the swimming areas are guarded by certified lifeguards.   The Spray ‘N” Playground features great wet fun away from the lake. With no standing water, this area is perfect for non-swimmers. Geysers, bubblers, and water tunnels entertain the young and “young at heart.”  Fisherman will enjoy their sport in our stocked lake. The trail around the lake provides many quiet spots to enjoy the peace away from the beach and waterslides.  Scattered throughout the property are picnic tables and charcoal grill for outdoor dining. Other amenities include paddleboats, hot food at our Cascade Cafe, gift shop, and bathhouse.

6.  Beaches - Think smaller than Ocean City for a fun day trip. With the bay and its tributaries, you can find many small beaches that make for a fun afternoon of swimming or having a picnic. Try Matapeake Beach (Eastern Shore), Rocky Gap State Park (Allegany County, Western Maryland), Calvert Cliffs State Park (Calvert County, Southern Maryland), Cunningham Falls State Park (Frederick County),  Breezy Point Beach (Calvert County, Southern Maryland) or one of the many others that may be closer to you.

7.      Check out a Minor League Game: Bowie Baysox ($10 and $7) and Delmarva shorebirds ($8) –These are both great, less expensive options for professional baseball. And, who knows, maybe your favorite player will make it to the big leagues!  



8.     Maryland’s best ice-cream trail – Ice cream straight from a dairy? Um, Yum! According to the website, Maryland has eight dairy farms that offer fresh, delicious on-farm ice cream. Together, they make up the Maryland’s Best Ice Cream Trail. Visit each creamery and get your trail passport stamped by September 15th and you may be named Maryland’s 2014 Ice Cream Trail Blazer.



9.     Summer and fall fairs and carnivals  - Okay, so admittedly, these can get expensive if you give into too many rides and games, but they are often days that are less expensive with deals. These could be a summer splurge.



Fun at the MD Fair




One of the Rides at the Howard County Fair



10.   Holiday lights - There are many outdoor light displays in the area from Thanksgiving  through new year’s eve.  Most are drive through and you pay by the car so they are reasonable for a larger group.  Some offer walk-through and pet nights.  The one’s on 34^th Street in Baltimore are pretty cool.  Finding parking is tough but it is free and you can see the light display on the harbor before or after since it is just a short drive away.  

 11. Go to Assateague Island to see the ponies– When you live this close to the ponies, it seems like one of the Maryland bucket list things that people should try.  I hear that the actual pony swim is pretty crazy, but you can see the ponies on other days. The tour is a little pricey, but you do not have to do it.

12.   The National Zoo - Entrance to the zoo is free so you only have to pay for your metro ride or your parking.  You are allowed to bring a picnic, so you can make it inexpensive if you plan ahead.   I recently went and although we were disappointed that they no longer have giraffes, we were very please with some of the new updates, specifically Amazonia.  

13.   Museums – Living this close to DC, it is easy to forget how lucky we are to see the sights. Many of the museums offer kid friendly sections and they are free! Just remember not to go during the touristy days if you don’t like a crowd.  

 

14.   National Aquarium- This is another one of those things that is pricey, but has deals.  Living so close offers the option to wait and go when you can pay less.  During certain times of the year, you can do the Friday’s after 5 for a reduced price.  They have other deals as well such as military discounts. Here is a post from when we went a while back.

15.   Gardens - If you just want to enjoy the beauty of the great outdoors, try a walk through one of Maryland's beautiful gardens.  Lilypons Water Gardens in Adamstown, near Frederick, Adkins Arboretum on the Eastern Shore and Brookside Gardens in Montgomery county all have a lot to offer. There is a more extensive list on VisitMaryland.

16.   Parks (vehicle cost of $2-6) – The below parks offer playgrounds and much more. Some offer petting zoos, blacksmiths and much more. The fee is typically by the car and is less than $10/car. Check them out!

Kinderfarm Park with animals and blacksmith

Patapsco Valley State Park- Hilton Area Tire park  - Very cool tire park and small hikes

Patapsco Tire Park

Watkins Park with Carousel and Animals

Wheaton Regional Park - Everything from park and  gardens to horseback riding

Robinson Nature Center with Planetarium  - Two cool trips in one.

I need to learn to say NO

So, lately, I feel like this.

This has been happening often.

I really need to remember this.

 

 

 

I have no words of wisdom today, but wanted to remind you that if you feel like this also, you are not alone. Maybe I will have some experiential wisdom next week...when I am not so tired! :)

I Challenge You to Try This. (Here is what happened when I did.)

Over the last week, I have had two cars break, my A/C unit in my home broke and I came home from a weekend away to find ants. But you know what? I am blessed!

A friend of mine posted this last week and I decided to really try it.  I do not consider myself a huge complainer, well unless you include nagging my husband, oops!  I do, however, like to be in control (people may have thrown around the word control-freak). This need to be in control can stress me out when things go wrong so I find myself complaining.  I have been trying to work on it which made this a great challenge.  I decided that I thought it meant finding the good in things as to not complain about them. Wow! What a difference it has made. I was certainly challenged with some frustrations this last week, but I truly believe that trying to look at things in a good way made me so much less stressed. 

Let me explain the blessing in each of my frustrations so you can see what I am talking about.

After dropping  Ella off at my parent’s house last week, I went to brake and my car kept going. The brakes were working, but I my wheels kept going. This sounds awful, but here is the blessing… I was going slowly and was able to stop the car by putting it in park and turning off the engine rather quickly and there were not any cars in front of me. As if that was not enough of a blessing, I was able to start the car and get it back to my parent’s neighbor who is a mechanic that is very giving and generous with his time. He said he was willing to look at the car so I would not have to drive it anywhere else.  Turns out it was not anything major wrong with it!

The second challenge/blessing is that my parents are not using their second vehicle as they are out of town so I was able to it.  As I got in the car, it would not start. The blessing was that John, the amazing mechanic-neighbor was outside and looked at it. He said that it needs a new battery and helped me jump it.  I was able to take it to auto zone where they replaced the battery for me. As an extra bonus, the lady at the store gave me a coupon for 15%! (Oh, side note, my niece was at my parent’s and was watching Ella. I did not drop my infant off to a vacant home! J)

The third challenge/blessing was that after coming home from a weekend away, I noticed ants in my house. I know they are not damaging, but they gross me out. If you have ever had an infestation, you may be able to understand this.  Well, it turns out that that we got home in time to catch them before a full infestation happened. After killing what I could find inside and spraying outside the window sill where they were coming in, I was able to minimize the problem without calling pest control.

My last challenge/blessing happened when I noticed a wet spot on my ceiling.  After a little exploration, I realized it was coming from the A/C unit.  Yet, again, I tried not to worry and just had faith without complaining.  My blessing was that my sister’s neighbor who does HVAC work happened to be off from work and was able to come over quickly. Bonus was that the repair was minor and fairly inexpensive! Woohoo!

Through all of these inconveniences, no one was hurt, nothing killed my bank account and I was blessed with people in my life who helped me out quite expeditiously.   

I am so glad that this “not complaining” test helped me gain such great perspective. I now challenge you to try it. You may be surprised.

*I feel like I should add the caveat that I did mention my mishaps to people such as to explain to my coworkers why I was late to work or to ask advice.  I do not,  personally,  think that mentioning a challenge counts as a complaint unless you actually complain about it or wallow in it. In my case,  my series of unfortunate events became laughable at work,  almost like a sit-com. 

My New Beverage Container and Sweet Delicious, Iced Coffee

So over the weekend, I bought an adorable beverage container that looks like a big mason jar but is plastic and has a convenient spout.   I would love to tell you that I just wandered upon it at a cute boutique and had to have it, but the truth is, I did not.  The truth is, I was on a hunt. You see, this jar, as adorable as it is, was a means to end.  The truth is, I needed cold brewed, iced coffee and I needed something to put it in.  

 I few summers ago I was introduced to the mild caffeinated deliciousness that is cold brewed iced coffee. Unlike brewing hot coffee and putting it over ice, this does not get watered down and it is so smooth. My fantastic summer beverage was improved a while back when I read a post from Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman.   She made the awful, wonderful suggestion of adding condensed milk. (Note: I did not say it was low-cal or low-fat, just wonderful)  This was a life changing moment for me. I mean before I had spent hours over the conundrum that is sweetening iced coffee. Well, maybe minutes, but whatever!   I do not like artificial sweeteners in my coffee and regular sugar has a tough time dissolving in cold coffee.  So what was a girl to do? I had tried dissolving sugar in hot water and adding it, but that was a pain. So this solution, this simple but mind-blowing solution, was just what I needed.  Ree also adds a little half and half but you could add whatever milk you use, or leave it out altogether.

 

So, here is how I make this creamy, scrumptious concoction.

(I love DD Coffee, but you can use any brand.)

 

 

In a large container, mix ground 1 lb of ground coffee with 8 quarts of cold water.  It will help if this container has a spout that you can pour from.  Cover it and let it sit at room temperature overnight.  

(By the way, I mean a spout at the top, I did not strain throught the spigot at the bottom as I was worried about getting grounds in it. I would usually use a pitcher, but wanted to use my new containers.)

In  the morning, line a mesh strainer with cheesecloth (I hear paper towels will work, but I have not tried it) and set over a pitcher or other container. Pour the coffee/water mixture through the strainer, allowing all liquid to run through.  At this point, you can toss the grounds or use them in your garden.  

Now comes the hard part. You have to wait, again! Put the coffee in the fridge and let it cool.  This much lasts me a couple weeks in the fridge in a pitcher with a lid.

When you are ready, pour some over a glass of ice and add 2-3 tablespoons of condensed milk. You can add more, or less, or whatever, but add some. It is worth it.  If you want you could also some milk.  And I guess, if you really want, I will not hold it against you if you do not add the condensed milk and replace it will whatever you prefer to sweeten your cold beverages.  Creamer actually works quite well. I suppose you could also leave it black. I could not, but you certainly could and still enjoy the mild iced coffee.  Now make yourself some so that tomorrow you can sit on the porch and enjoy!