Advice for My Niece as She heads Off to College

My niece left for college this weekend and all summer I thought about things that I wanted to tell her.

We talked about alot, but there are still more things that I want you to know, Mattie.

Pick your friends wisely, they will be your family.  Be open to all sorts of people that you may be friendly with, but when it comes to those close, remember that they will help shape the adult you. They are your home away from home. There are no "cool kids" in college, so just pick the ones that fit you.

Enjoy this time. Yes, classes are hard, and you do have to study, but make time for your social life. Believe it or not,  you have more choices with your time now than you will have in the future.

Get a good internship. No class that you take can really teach what it is like to work in a particular field. Experience is a great teacher.  It will also help you to get a job after graduation.

When you pick a major, research connected jobs. Don't just pick classes you like, make sure that there is a job that you would enjoy that is connected to that major. Some majors require a masters or PhD to be useful; make sure you know that going in.

Your first roommate may not be your best friend. That's okay, do not force it. Who knows, maybe they will be, but if not, just be happy to have someone who you can happily live with.

Freedom comes with responsibility.  Your choices have consequences. I know this sounds like an obvious statement, but you really have to let it resonate. You are a legal adult now and the choices you make can and will affect your future.  You can have fun and be responsible; try to do both.

Pick a designated driver even when you're not driving. What I mean is that even if you walk to a bar, be careful with your drinking.  I would never suggest that you drink to a point where you are no longer in control of your actions. Scary stuff happens once you go there. But, if you think you may drink too much, surround yourself with people who will keep you safe.

Make rules with your friends before you go out. I know this sounds silly, but sometimes, once you go out, you start to make decisions you would not have made before you were having fun at a crazy party.  Before you go out, let your friends know your boundaries so that they can try to help keep you there.  I am not saying that you should act like each other's keepers, but sometimes you need a little reminder.

You do not have to lose yourself to find yourself.  You will grow up a lot in the next four years. You will find new interests and new friends. Remember to hold on to who you are. Keep your morals and values. You can hold onto that and still grow, I promise.

Go to class. No seriously, go. When no one is taking attendance, it is very tempting to skip, but don't. When you go, it is so much easier to learn the topic. Also, some teachers will test on things they taught that are NOT in the book.

There are probably 100 more things that I could on about, but these are the ones that stand out in my head. I hope you will at least think about them. I love you and good luck!

We Can Dish it Out, But Can We Take It?

I have written a similar post before, but this topic seems to rear it's ugly head over and over for me.

As parents, do we practice what we preach? Are we holding our children to a higher standard than we hold ourselves to?

As a mom, I want better for my kids than I had and I think that is quite typical. I want them to live longer, be more prepared, have a better education, be more content, dream bigger, laugh longer, etc.  But is MY desire for THEM  be the best they can be, unfair?

I am not talking pushing them in sports or punishing them for a "B" on their report card.  That is not my personality, so I do not struggle with that.  Besides, that is a whole nother topic for a different day.

I am talking about little daily things. 

Do we tell them to limit their TV time, but then close our bedroom door to binge on our favorite show?

Do we tell them that they do not need so much sugar while hiding our hidden treat stash in the veggies? 

Do we tell them to turn off the Xbox and play outside while we stare at our phones? 

Do we tell them to keep their room clean only to know that we have a never ending pile of laundry that gets laundered but not put away. I could go on, but you get the point.

I struggle within myself wondering if it is okay that I do these things because I have a different level of responsibility than they do or is it unfair that I hold them to expectations that I, myself, do not meet?

Should I start to let them have that one extra show as I might do for myself, or should I force myself to turn off my own show? It sounds much more responsible to raise the expectations I have for myself than to lower the bar for my kids, but is my bar too high? Should the bar bet set somewhere in the middle?


I know this post is more questions than answers, but it is what is on my mind today. If you have some answers, I would love to hear them.

Family Fun in Ocean City, Maryland

Note: This post is from 2015. Although most of the activities still go on, you should check with the location for dates and times.

I love the beach, but now that I go with a family, I wanted to  try to find some things to do other than the typical beach, boarwalk, miniature golf and stuffing our faces.  Although we love all of those things, I also thought it would be fun to mix it up a little.  Here are a few things that we may try to add to our next trip.

Sundaes on the Beach (and Fireworks)  - Bring your picnic basket and beach chairs to Northside Park on 125th Street for ice cream sundaes and live entertainment. Sundaes in the Park is a family concert series offered Sunday evenings in July and August from 7pm to 9pm. For a small fee, enjoy your own ice cream sundae creation as you listen to your musical favorites and watch the sunset over the beautiful Assawoman Bay. Children's entertainment is also presented each week. The night will end with a fireworks display at 9pm.



Assateague Island (ponies) - Assateague Island wild ponies travel the beach near Chincoteague, Virginia & Ocean City, Maryland. Assateague's north entrance is eight miles from Ocean City. Assateague Island provides outdoor recreation, nature tours to see wild ponies and more.


Movies on the Beach at the Carousel - Free movies on the beach for the entire family! Bring your beach chair or a blanket and enjoy the night beside the ocean. Every Wednesday from June 1 thru August 31 - 8:30 p.m. - Carousel Hotel, 118th Street



Ripley's Believe It or Not - Experience three unique attractions including Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Odditorium, the mind-bending Marvelous Mirror Maze, and the challenging and fun Ripley’s Impossible LaseRace!



OC Beach Lights Spectacular! Show - These shows feature lasers, lights, video, fireworks, music and special effects all displayed on a 5 story tall giant beach ball. These shows will be lighting up the beach at North Division Street three times every Sunday night, Memorial Day Weekend through Labor Day Weekend, with a special Patriotic Show Saturday May 23rd. Show times are 9:30pm, 10:00pm and 10:30pm. Shows are visible along the south end of the beach and boardwalk with the best viewing area on the boardwalk at North Division Street.



Fireworks - Monday and Tuesday nights starting July 11th and continuing through August 30th, there will be fireworks on the beach. The Beach Fireworks will be lighting up the sky over the south end of the boardwalk starting at 10pm. The fireworks will also feature a musical presentation.

*For information on the Beach Lights Spectacular! or Beach Fireworks call 410-798-6304 or email nfoevent@specialeventpro.com.

School Will Start Soon

I cannot believe that it is August,already and the kids will be back to school in just a couple of weeks.  With that in mind here are the ramblings that are in my mind and my challenge for myself and parents everywhere.

 

Maybe you love summer, and maybe you don't. Maybe you're longing to get back to a schedule that's school offers, and maybe you wish summer would last for a few more weeks. Either way, try to enjoy these last few weeks with your kids.

 

Take the day off or an hour or a minute to just have fun with them. Go on a nature walk or to the pool or have a game night. Now, I am not talking about the outings where you just take them  and end up chatting with all the other Moms, I want us to engage with them. Get in the pool with them.  Do handstands or have a tea party under the water.  Participate in the nature walk trying to help them find all the things on your Scavenger hunt. Play games with them, even if its connect 4 for the 100th time. Don't just wait till it's over and hope you can quickly get back to the things you need to do.  Be with them in the moment!

 

Summers like this will be gone in the blink of an eye, and we will have plenty of time to do the dishes or take a nap but we can't get back these summer days with our kiddos.  Before we know it, they will be teenagers who just pop in between work and hanging out with friends. Or worse, they will be out of the house.  This is our time with them. Let's make it all it can be!