End the Judging!

Adults, we have got to stop judging each other!

Everywhere I look, some one is judging someone.  One mom is wrong for breastfeeding in public while another is, "ruining her child's immune system" by not breastfeeding at all.  One man is outdated for opening a door for an independent woman who, "can open the door on her own", while another is weird for staying home while his wife is the bread winner.   One person is a jerk for persecuting Christians while another is a jerk for being a Christian.

Why are we all so worried about each other that we have to, not only judge, but share it on the Internet?  People can't even post a picture of their kids, their dog or their life without being judged. I used to think that websites like The People of  Walmart were funny, but even those get to me, recently.  If someone posts a funny picture of themselves, with a caption letting you know they know it's funny, that's different.  But shouldn't people be able to go to the store with the simple expectation that as long as they mind their own business, don't hurt anyone, and don't break the law, that their picture will not be posted on social media?  

I think it is fairly normal to judge.  I think the problem comes when we share it and is exponential worsened when we share publicly.   We are all getting so numb to it, that we do not even remember that the people in the photos or on the posts are real people with real feelings.  We are becoming a society of bullies. 

Anything you do could end up on some These People are Annoying  list. ( You know, the Most Annoying People on Instagram, the Most Annoying Moms at Pick-up, The Most Annoying Co-workers...)  I do not know what flipped in me, but these lists that usually make me laugh in agreement have just started to make me sad.  I love comedy, and I know that joking is all in fun; I can handle a tasteless joke, but these lists are starting to feel mean spirited.



I saw this sign for teachers to use in the classroom encouraging kids to THINK before they speak.  If kids are expected to do this, shouldn't adults be expected to, also?

I mean, seriously, can you imagine a world in which we only considered the actions of others when they directly affected us, our loved ones or the whole of society? Can you imagine if we all only said negative things in a respectful manner and only when it was for the betterment of a person or society?

Can you imagine if we all spent so much time loving, giving, helping, enjoying, laughing, even crying, when appropriate, that we didn't have the time or focus to judge?







I know that I am not perfect. I know that I will judge someone again. Heck, I may even do it today.  Some may even say that this post is judgmental for judging people and society.

I also know, that I will try to do it less. I will try to click on less negative stories making fun and more positive stories offering inspiration. I challenge you to do the same thing.  Next time you see someone who does not act, look or dress within your expectations or within a societal norm, ask yourself what road may they have been on that got them to make that choice. Also, ask yourself, if it's not hurting me or society, why do I care? If you are not comfortable with the answer you give yourself, maybe you could consider moving your thoughts along to something else. I am certainly going to try.   

30 Summer Songs with a Little Something for Everyone

1. Summertime Blues by Eddie Cochran

2. The Boys of Summer by Don Henley

3. Miami by Will Smith

4. Summer Girls by LFO

5. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem by Kenney Chesney

6. Surfin Safari by The Beach Boys

7. It Was a Good Day - Ice Cube (Radio Edit but still has some language)

8. Wipeout by Surfaris

9. Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter

10. Summertime by Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince

11.School's Out by Alice Cooper

12. Cruise by Florida Georgia Line (remix Ft Nelly)

13. In the Summer Time by Jerry Mungo

14. Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett

15. Under the Boardwalk by The Drifters

16. Hot in Herre by Nelly

17. Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams

18. Some Beach by Blake Shelton

19. Good Vibrations by Beach Boys

20. Heat Wave by Marth and the Vandellas

21. Summer Love by Justin Timberlake

22. Summer Breeze by The Isley Brothers

23. Summer Nights by John Travolta
and Olivia Newton John

24. Summertime by Kenny Chesney

25. Dancing In the Streets by Marth and the fellas

26. Summer Wind by Frank Sinatra

27. Hot Fun in the Summertime by Sly
and the Family Stone

28. Toes by Zac Brown Band
 (Original Version, language)

29. California Girls by David Lee Roth

 

30. Sir It Up by Bob Marley
 (Really, anything by Bob Marley)

 

 



If you happen to be using these at a summer get-together, here are a few tips that I gathered.

Five Things I Try To Do With My Kids Every Day

There are many things I do with and say to my kids during the day.  Most of them are things that come naturally like calling them for dinner, reminding them about manners, telling them to brush their teeth and stopping them from hurting themselves or someone else.  Then there are a some things that I consciously do to try to make their day better, help our relationship or help them grow into better people. Here are 5 things that I try to do with them each day for that latter purpose.

Laugh - Laughing creates endorphins that are so good for you. I hear my kids laugh all the time, but I also know that daily life makes kids feel like parents are the cause of anger, frustration and disappointment.  While I am okay with that because I know those feelings may come along with keeping some sort of order and discipline, I also want them to associate positivity with me. If nothing else, I sit on the floor with them and tickle them or tell stupid jokes.  I feel that even a few minutes of laughter together a day can create positive connections and memories.









Pray - Although bedtime can be disjointed and chaotic some nights with the my kids having a pretty big age gap (6 years), I try to at least say a small prayer with each of them, or together. More, I try to pray in daily situations so that my kids can see it is not just something that I do out of habit. We pray when we pass a cart accident or when we just can't pull ourselves together or when we are grateful.

Remind them of their positive attributes - Each night before my kids go to bed, I tell them how great they are. I learned this from my sister.  I tell that they are smart, funny, creative, special, kind, giving or whatever positive they have displayed that day. I also tell them that I love them, their dad and sibling loves them, that our whole big family loves them and that God loves them.

Ask them about their day (And really listen) - I can remember when I first started dating my husband that every time I would see him, he would ask about my day and ask questions about my response.  It felt so good to have him really be interested. It reminded me of being a child and talking about my day around the dinner table.  I want my kids to know that I really care about what they have to say. I also want to know more about their day than that it was, "fine."  I want to know about the good and the bad.  I also want them to learn that when people value you, they value what you have to say.


Say, "Yes" - I usually feel like that commercial where all the mom says is, "no."  Between a 2 year-old who is into everything and an 8 year-old who always want to do or buy some crazy thing, there is alot of "no" at my house.  I want my kids to hear me say yes.  I want them to know that some of the things they value are worth my consideration. I want to create an environment where there is some positivity.  I have also learned, over time, that I can say yes in situations where I would have said no.  For example, when my son asks for dessert without eating enough dinner, I can say, "No, you didn't eat your dinner", or I can say, "Yes, after you finish dinner."  It is the same thing, but it feels different. I also try to say as much as possible when it comes to them wanting my time.  I work outside the home, so we only get a few hours together a day. I do not want all of their memories to be that I cooked or cleaned and spent not time with them.

What kinds of positive things do you do, intentionally, with your children?
 

Frozen Cake for My Niece - Back-to-Back Elsa and Anna

My Niece Turned 5 this past spring, but patiently waited for her birthday party until last week so that she could have it at the pool.  As with many 5-year-old girls, she loves Frozen and just can't Let It Go. (Sorry, I just couldn't help myself!)

 

I worked at Baskin Robbins during high school and college breaks and learned to decorate cakes there, so my sister asked me to help with the cake.  I am a little rusty, so it is far from perfect, but my niece was happy and  that made me happy.

 

I do not have a step-by-step tutorial, but I will give you the basics.

• We used a dress cake pan but had to cut a larger hole in the center with a knife to get both dolls.
• We used two full dolls. My sister found them with painted tops and removable skirts. They were perfect!
• We used icing for the whole thing, but you could certainly get a smoother surface with fondant. We prefer the taste and were okay with the imperfection.
• We used a dense cake recipe.  It held up great, but the edges got a little hard in the time it took for the center to cook. We also made cupcakes. She tasted better.
• The snowballs, dots on Elsa's dress and adjoining seams are edible pearls.
   

 

How to Write a Blog that Will Get Read (or maybe it won't, I don't know!)- My Top 5 Suggestions

When I first started my blog, it was just about my family, but recently, I have started writing about all things that interest me. In the process, I have been reading about how to gain more readers in an effort to feel out how far I should go with this adventure. In a nutshell, here are the top 5 things I have learned about writing a successful blog.

1. Write about what you love, but only if it will interest other and be useful to them. It must come from your heart and your knowledge as long as that will be interesting to others.

2. You should write every day. Well, maybe not every day. You should write when you are inspired. A good writer does not have to post everyday once they have loyal readership, but you will get more readers if you do post every day.

3. Create a plan with goals. The goals should be based on what you think is realistic, but they should also follow a plan of the experts if you want to achieve their success.  The plan should be based on topic, or time writing or financial goals. Or maybe even a rainbow. I am sure you can find some expert with color-coded goals.

4. Your writing is what matters. It is really about having good content, but grammar matters. Actually, none of it will matter if you do not have well-read bloggers pointing people in your direction.  Who you know will drive traffic to you and your blog. Then the content will matter, I think.

5. Social media is the most important element.  You should promote on twitter, facebook, instagram, google+ and maybe even myspace.  Make sure you promote the right posts to the right social media and at the right times. Facebook and twitter should be posted for different topics and at different times.  On second thought, you should always post to all of them. Well, promote but maybe write different leads on the social media. And only post on weekends, I mean weekdays, I mean before work, I mean before bed.

If you have read this far, I hope you realize that this was a total tongue-in-cheek post based from frustration.  It seems everyone has different, often conflicting advice.  I guess like many other things in life, what works for some will not work for all. If you have any actual advice that helped you succeed, I would love to hear it.  For now, I will be sifting through advice. Maybe I should tally all of the advice and use the suggestions that get the most tallies!

Tiramisu Ice Cream Sundae

My childhood best friend and her family were in town this weekend.  While my amazing parents had us over for dinner, I brought dessert. I had a goal of making tiramisu, but as I cleaned up the ridiculous number of toys in my house, I realized that was not going to happen. (Now that I look back, when did I start living in a world where cleaning toys overtook decadent dessert?)

Anyway, I looked up recipes for a deconstructed tiramisu thinking that I could at least save a step or two, but realized that A. only one other person thinks tiramisu should come deconstructed and B. it would take almost as long.   I needed a plan B.

That plan B became this pretty simple, semi-homemade sundae. It was rich and had all of the tastes of a tiramisu and as a bonus, the ice cream was great on a summer night.

Tiramisu Sundae
My hot fudge slipped off a little, but it was still yummy.

It is a slice of pound cake, topped with a scoop of coffee ice cream with a spoonful or two of mascaropne whipped cream on top, finished with a drizzle of mocha hot chocolate.

I will be making it again. And even when I don't, I will be making the whipped cream. And, I may be eating the whipped cream by the spoonful. Please do not judge. It's really good!


Recipe:

Ingredients:
Pound Cake (I used Enteman's for the sake of time, but you could make your own.)
Coffee Ice Cream
1 pint Heavy Whipping Cream
4 table spoons Confectioner's Sugar
8 oz Mascarpone Cheese
6 oz Hot Fudge
2 oz Strong Coffee or Espresso

Whipped Topping:
In a cold metal bowl, use a cold whisk to whip your whipped cream.
Once peaks form, add 2-4 tbl spoons of confectioner's sugar to get to your desired sweetness. I prefer all 4.
Last, add the mascarpone cheese and whip again for 1-3 minutes or until fully incorporated.
Keep Refrigerated.
For best results, keep in cold metal bowl. Although the cheese should stabilize the cream, it will help it stay cold.

Mocha Hot Fudge:
Warm hot fudge for about 15 seconds in the microwave. You are not getting is hot, just softening it a little.
Slowly add coffee or espresso to taste.  You have the coffee ice cream, so you do not need it to be strong, you just want to get a hint of it.
Once fully mixed to your taste, you can keep refrigerated and then warm when ready for use.

When ready, layer your sundae and enjoy!

Ten Amazing Freedoms of Being an Adult

Somewhere around 30 I started to realize that I had become much more carefree about certain things and that list of things has only grown since then. Perhaps it was being married or having a kid, but I think it was just something that came with maturity.  I lost some of my self consciousness about certain things and felt comfortable in places that I had not before.

Here are some things that I am now comfortable with that I would not have been at 20.

Driving an old car and genuinely not caring what people think. While I would love a new one, I now realize how nice it is not to have a car payment.

Going to places alone...think dinner, movies or shopping. Not only am I comfortable, but after a day at work in meetings or a crazy meal with my kids, I would actually welcome it.

Biting my tongue.  I used to think I had to make all of my opinions known. I would feel like I was going to burst if I didn't. I have learned that some times, it is more effective to wait to do so and that other times, it is just not worth it at all.

Creating unlikely friendships. There's no such thing as cool kids once you're an adult.

Wearing Clothes that look good on me... not a model or a mannequin. Girls often want to look like a magazine or mannequin in a store. Women do not always look good in those outfits. Learning what works for you rocks!

Learning to say, "I don't know." There is something wonderful that comes with knowing that you do not have all of the answers and, if you can believe it, that is alright.  Know one has all of the answers and no one expects you to. Even at work, I am comfortable with that.  My boss knows that I will find the answer, but she also  knows that it might not be on the top of my head.

Knowing that friends don't have to talk as often as I thought. As college and adulthood happened, I learned that my close childhood friends can still remain close even when we do not talk that often.  Recently, I also have learned that even my neighborhood friends

Being happy to have no plans. Nothing to do for an hour or so? Yes, please!

Narrowing down my group of friends. There was once a time where I thought I should be friends with everyone. Now I realize that while I have many of acquaintances, close friends are such a gift and I do not need 20 of them. To be honest, I am not sure I could even keep up with that many close friendships.

Asking for help. I am learning what I know and don't know and what I am really capable of. While I am capable of more than I thought, I am cannot always being the superwoman that I would like. Being comfortable asking for help has taken off so much pressure and sometimes I even learn in the process!

Not always being in control or leading.  Growing up I was often told that I was such a leader. That is a great compliment that also comes with alot of responsibility because I thought it meant that I should always want to be the leader. That, coupled with my control-freak attributes, meant I was always offering to be the group leader or the shift supervisor and applying for the next promotion. While all of these things are great and have helped me, sometimes you need to back off and let someone else be in charge; maybe for your own good, or maybe for the good of the project. Either way, it can be so freeing to hand over the reigns.

Realizing that work is not life or death and that I am not the only one who is capable of my job.  I used to put so much pressure on myself as if one wrong comma was going to end the world. Working for the military, I eventually learned that some of my coworkers have worked in life-or-death situations, but my office job is not one of them.  I also learned that since others are also capable, it is okay to take a vacation here and there.  The office will be here when I get back. That second part also does push me a little with the reminder that someone else could do my job. In a weird way, it gives a balance as a reminder to work hard, but that it is okay not be perfect and to take a break.

Okay, sorry, that was twelve. I guess I have more freedom than I thought!

Alcohol Themed Cupcake Ideas

I have been on a cupcake kick latley. Wait, that's a lie. I have only made cupcakes once in the last week or so, but I have been on a mission to gather cupcake recipes with the goal of actually making them.
 
Here are a few recipes that I gathered for alcohol themed cupcakes. As I make them, I will let you know if I made any changes and how they turned out.  If you get to any before I do, please comment about how they turned out. (I love this give-and-take thing we have going.)
 
 
Bailey's Cupcakes from Easy Baked

Recipe Here

 
Margarita Cupcakes from Created By Diane

Recipe Here

 
 
Dark Chocolate Red Wine from Honeycomb Food


Recipe Here

 













Gin and Tonic Cupcakes from I Heart Katie Cakes

Recipe Here


 

 
 


















Southern Comfort Cupcakes from My Baking Addiction


Recipe Here

 
 


















Pina Colada Cupcakes from Grin and Bake It


Recipe Here

 
 


















Sangria Cupcakes from the First Year Blog


Recipe Here

 
 

















Beer and Pretzle Cupcakes from Baker's Royale
Is this not the most beautiful cupcake? Not sure mine could look like that!

Recipe Here

 
 















Almond Amarretto Cupcakes from the Cupcake Project

Recipe Here

 
 
Appletini Cupcakes

Recipe Here