Dear Friends Without Kids

Dear single friends and friends with no kids, 

I just want you to know that I know you are not a jerk or an idiot. 

                   Love,

                   An appreciative mom who knows that you know I am a

                   crazy mom that loves you even when I don't show it

Let me explain...

I have seen so many things lately about moms explaining to their “non-mom” friends why they can’t hang out, why they are less available and why thier house is a mess.  I love these posts and I often laugh at them, relating to the struggles of being a mom, but after reading many of them, I feel defensive of some of my friends.  

I have single friends and married friends without kids who do actually get it.  They do things like make themselves available around my crazy schedule. They do not get mad when I cannot hang out.  They have even stuck around in the hospital when I was with the lactation consultant and helped watch my kids when I was in a bind (Thanks Naz!).  Maybe I have the only friends on the planet that get that parenting is time-consuming, but I doubt it. 

Now, I do think that age has something to do with it. I am in my mid-thirties, as are my friends, and maybe they understand better than they would have 10 years ago, but I recall them being pretty good when my son was born 7 years ago, also.   

So to all the moms out there, unless your friend has literally complained to you that you are ignoring them, maybe they get it more than you think.  If they call less, maybe they are not mad, maybe they are just busy.  Let’s face it, we are not the only people they have to hang out with.  When we are busy, they may find themselves hanging out with people who are more available.  This is not a mean thing; it is just the way life works out. We spend time with people who are available and have things in common with us.  I still love to hang out with my friends who do not have kids, but I also enjoy spending time with other moms. And those friends without kids might enjoy hanging out with people who are not telling baby stories all the time.  

Let’s give our friends credit and appreciate those that understand rather than creating a great divide. Let's thank them for loving us and our kids.  Good girlfriends are important so let’s not allow our different stages in life to separate us.