When Did We Get So Uptight?

I love reading blogs and articles from other mothers about the ups and downs of parenting. However, lately, I see that there seem to be a lot of “rules” and a strict need to stay within their confines. How did that happen? Everything is so structured; even play time is “structured play.”

What really got me thinking this was article that a mom wrote on HuffPost about being “shamed” for giving her kids pretzels in the mall. What amazed me, was not only that someone made her feel bad for eating a pretzel with her kids, but also, that she felt the need to defend it. She explains that she and her kids eat healthy and pretzels are one of the few things she bends on.  I get trying to feed your family healthy things, but for so many people, it seems that they are doing this because it is in the “new-and-improved parent rulebook.”  There are these expectations that have been put out there that seem to think families should all live in a similar box, but why?

How did things get so structured? What happened to the freedom of being a child? Do kids even climb trees anymore or might that risk their future MLB career that their parents are nurturing at age 5 by already paying for private batting practice?

Even summers seem so structured.  Kids are constantly at camps and “enrichment” activities. Not only is their TV time limited, but so is their free play time.  Who says that kids can’t learn just as much playing some days as they can in extra-curriculars? Playtime uses their imagination and teaches them the rules of the playground, which often translate into the rules of life.  

Found on Vanessa Hudgens Tumbler

Now, before you get all excited and think that my child lives like Tarzan with no rules, watching TV all day and going to bed at midnight, let me be honest, I am the queen of the rule-followers and love structure. I also love research and respect that our kids are healthier and safer because of safety strides that have been made for things like car-seats and healthier lunches. I just think we need to loosen up a bit and remember that most things, in moderation, are fine.  A pretzel at the mall or even a candy bar once in a while is not going to ruin our kids’ organs or their eating-habits forever.  Skipping reading time before bed because their favorite team is playing in the playoffs and they want to watch the last few minutes is not going to make them illiterate. And, I even think that going out of the house in striped pants and character shirt that doesn’t match does not mean that they won’t be respectably dressed adults.

I am not saying that rules and structure are not important, I just think, maybe, we need to loosen up a little.
 

First Birthday Cake Smash Photoshoot

My baby girl turns one tomorrow, so I did a “Cake Smash” shoot with her at mom mom’s last weekend.  I am not a photographer, but I love to pretend like I am one. I have a decent camera and Photoshop which I know just enough about to make me dangerous.

I do not own a fancy backdrop, so I just used to party decorations on a while wall and a sheet on the floor.  My sister has a great eye so she helped me with it.   I am not sure if it is because I am biased about how cute Ella is, but I think the pictures turned out quite cute!

Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

Happy First Birthday, Eliana Marie!

Tomorrow, my little princess turns one! I am not sure if it is because having two kids is busier than having one, or if my memory is failing me, but it seems to have passed by so much faster this time.  I feel it was just last month that I could not imagine my life with 2 children. I feel like it was last week that I held her little newborn self curled up on my chest and, I feel like it was just yesterday that she looked so tiny in her big crib as I laid her in it for the first time.  It really is amazing how fast they turn from this tiny baby into little humans with personalities, and boy does Ella have a personality. She knows what she wants, when she wants and how she wants. (She may have gotten that from her momma!) She also smiles at you in a way that makes your heart light up as if you are the best thing she has ever seen. She is so funny and smart, and curious and determined. She is certainly her own person, already!

As my little girls turns one, I pray for her today and in her future. I pray that she dream big but keep her feet on the ground. I pray that she love with her whole heart and be loved the same way. I pray that she keep her mind open and her morals on close-hold. I pray that she enjoy life while being responsible and mature. I pray that she learn from her mistakes and disappointments in a way that makes her stronger and happier.  I pray that she can recognize challenges but find something good in everything. I pray that she surround herself with people that treat her well and show her kindness and support and that she do the same for them. I pray that she show respect to all people, recognizing the respect humanity deserves, even though some humans may not behave in a way that seems deserving. I pray that she thirst for knowledge, in school as well as in life. Most importantly, I pray that she love God with her heart soul and mind.

Happy Birthday, sweet Eliana Marie! Although I know that you will challenge me, test me, argue with me and even disappoint me, I also know that you will bring me extreme joy and I will always love you. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you.

Maybe Being Surrounded by Each Other Isn't Enough

I belong to a moms’ group on Facebook that shares ongoings in our lives and this week, with the death of Robin Williams, we were talking about depression and support.  In one post, one of the women said something that really hit me.   She said, “I think God designed us to be connected to others, not surrounded by others.” I want to say that again, “I think God designed us to be connected to others, not surrounded by others”. 

If you let that really sink it, you may find, like I did, that this is something so many of us need to hear. In a world of technology we are often “connected” by social media, surrounded by the words of each other but are we really connecting with each other?  Do we have at least a few people to which we communicate with and relate to?   How often do we look another person in the eye or even talk on the phone with someone and really focus on them, knowing that they are doing the same? Do we even really connect with those closest to us? Do we take the time to sit with our kids, our spouses, our siblings, our parents, our friends and make every effort to connect with them. Do we spend time together doing what they like to do or teaching them about something that interests us or do we just sit near each other in silence with our face in our phone?     

Maybe it’s time to turn off the TV system in car and talk to each other or at least bond over singing a song at the top of our lungs and laughing when the next car over looks at us like we are crazy. Maybe it’s time to pull up a chair next to our kids and watch their shows or play their games with them in an effort to connect so that next time they may talk to us when we turn the TV off.  Maybe more often we need to go outside with our kids instead of telling them to go outside.  Maybe it is time to ask our spouse how their day was and really listen when the answer.  Maybe we need to make more time for girls night and date night.

Our lives are busy, I understand that, but are they busy with the right things? Are we making the most of our time? Are we putting people first and things last?  When we only have a short time with the people in our lives are we making the most of that time?  

When I read the post in my moms’ group, these and so many more thoughts ran through my head.  I also thought about the fact that so many of us have” friends” on facebook, but do we have friends?  Do we have a support group and are we part of someone’s support group?  Are we connecting in a way that we are really sharing of ourselves in way that matters?

That sentence, the one at the top that I repeated twice, is so simple, yet so deep.  I hope that you will take the time to think about it and make an effort to connect with someone.  While you’re at it, maybe you could take some time to connect with yourself. Many of us need that, too.   

Family Friendly Things to Do in Maryland (Balt/DC metro area)

Family time is so important but sometimes things like the movies and mini-golf can get expensive.  Also, sometimes, I want to do something new and fun that we all will like.   This summer, I did a search of family-friendly things to do that were not too far.  It found myself on many websites and here is a round-up of some of my favorites. I tried to keep them fairly inexpensive for the most part.  I did not add obvious items like amusement parks. I hope you can find something new and fun for your family!   

I linked the titles. I had hoped to give more information per location but I was too busy enjoying these places with my kids! J

1.       National Harbor – Sure there are plenty of places to shop and eat at National Harbor, but there is more than that. During different seasons they have cool experiences. For example, over the summer they have outdoor summer movies on Sundays and in the winter the Gaylord Hotel has a free  light show and it snows inside.  If you want to spend a little money you could take a boat ride to Old Town Alexandria or go see the ICE experience where they build a fantasy land all out of ICE.  ICE is a little pricey but is very cool!

Light Show at the Gaylord
at Nation Harbor

2.       JBarW Ranch Rodeo – JBarW Ranch in Union Bridge hosts rodeos on Saturday Nights in the summer. They have bull riding and other rodeo events that vary depending on the weekend.  We loved it  so much, I posted about it and we have been back every summer.  

 

3.     Pick-your-own fruit Larriland and Baughers Farms – Both farms have experiences that allow you to pick your own fruit. As well, they have various activities throughout the year.
  

4.     Local Library – I know this may sound cheesy, but check the schedule at your local library; they have more than just story-time.  My local library has Lego day and the bubble lady. You may want to check yours out, too. 



5.       Cascade lake – Cascade Lake is Located in Hampstead.  Their website states that they have a beautiful 6-acre lake, nestled among 70 acres of rolling hills and wooded areas. Cascade Lake is a spring fed lake with a gently sloping sandy bottom. It has a large roped-off are for swimming which includes various size waterslides and platforms. All of the swimming areas are guarded by certified lifeguards.   The Spray ‘N” Playground features great wet fun away from the lake. With no standing water, this area is perfect for non-swimmers. Geysers, bubblers, and water tunnels entertain the young and “young at heart.”  Fisherman will enjoy their sport in our stocked lake. The trail around the lake provides many quiet spots to enjoy the peace away from the beach and waterslides.  Scattered throughout the property are picnic tables and charcoal grill for outdoor dining. Other amenities include paddleboats, hot food at our Cascade Cafe, gift shop, and bathhouse.

6.  Beaches - Think smaller than Ocean City for a fun day trip. With the bay and its tributaries, you can find many small beaches that make for a fun afternoon of swimming or having a picnic. Try Matapeake Beach (Eastern Shore), Rocky Gap State Park (Allegany County, Western Maryland), Calvert Cliffs State Park (Calvert County, Southern Maryland), Cunningham Falls State Park (Frederick County),  Breezy Point Beach (Calvert County, Southern Maryland) or one of the many others that may be closer to you.

7.      Check out a Minor League Game: Bowie Baysox ($10 and $7) and Delmarva shorebirds ($8) –These are both great, less expensive options for professional baseball. And, who knows, maybe your favorite player will make it to the big leagues!  



8.     Maryland’s best ice-cream trail – Ice cream straight from a dairy? Um, Yum! According to the website, Maryland has eight dairy farms that offer fresh, delicious on-farm ice cream. Together, they make up the Maryland’s Best Ice Cream Trail. Visit each creamery and get your trail passport stamped by September 15th and you may be named Maryland’s 2014 Ice Cream Trail Blazer.



9.     Summer and fall fairs and carnivals  - Okay, so admittedly, these can get expensive if you give into too many rides and games, but they are often days that are less expensive with deals. These could be a summer splurge.



Fun at the MD Fair




One of the Rides at the Howard County Fair



10.   Holiday lights - There are many outdoor light displays in the area from Thanksgiving  through new year’s eve.  Most are drive through and you pay by the car so they are reasonable for a larger group.  Some offer walk-through and pet nights.  The one’s on 34^th Street in Baltimore are pretty cool.  Finding parking is tough but it is free and you can see the light display on the harbor before or after since it is just a short drive away.  

 11. Go to Assateague Island to see the ponies– When you live this close to the ponies, it seems like one of the Maryland bucket list things that people should try.  I hear that the actual pony swim is pretty crazy, but you can see the ponies on other days. The tour is a little pricey, but you do not have to do it.

12.   The National Zoo - Entrance to the zoo is free so you only have to pay for your metro ride or your parking.  You are allowed to bring a picnic, so you can make it inexpensive if you plan ahead.   I recently went and although we were disappointed that they no longer have giraffes, we were very please with some of the new updates, specifically Amazonia.  

13.   Museums – Living this close to DC, it is easy to forget how lucky we are to see the sights. Many of the museums offer kid friendly sections and they are free! Just remember not to go during the touristy days if you don’t like a crowd.  

 

14.   National Aquarium- This is another one of those things that is pricey, but has deals.  Living so close offers the option to wait and go when you can pay less.  During certain times of the year, you can do the Friday’s after 5 for a reduced price.  They have other deals as well such as military discounts. Here is a post from when we went a while back.

15.   Gardens - If you just want to enjoy the beauty of the great outdoors, try a walk through one of Maryland's beautiful gardens.  Lilypons Water Gardens in Adamstown, near Frederick, Adkins Arboretum on the Eastern Shore and Brookside Gardens in Montgomery county all have a lot to offer. There is a more extensive list on VisitMaryland.

16.   Parks (vehicle cost of $2-6) – The below parks offer playgrounds and much more. Some offer petting zoos, blacksmiths and much more. The fee is typically by the car and is less than $10/car. Check them out!

Kinderfarm Park with animals and blacksmith

Patapsco Valley State Park- Hilton Area Tire park  - Very cool tire park and small hikes

Patapsco Tire Park

Watkins Park with Carousel and Animals

Wheaton Regional Park - Everything from park and  gardens to horseback riding

Robinson Nature Center with Planetarium  - Two cool trips in one.