Tuesday, June 30, 2015

To the Imperfect Working Mom, I Know You

Dear working mom, we have never met, but I know you. I know your exhaustion, your joy, your stress, your contentment, your chaos, your disappointment, your excitement, your concern, your commitment, your patience, your frustration, your love, your wisdom, your humbleness, your devastation, your strength, your loneliness and your pride.
 
I could go on and on, but the point is, I know you. I am you. Well, not exactly you. Our families are different sizes and ages. Our job and work hours vary as does our commute and salary.  Our situations are not the same, but many of the things that we face are.
 
That struggle that you feel when you have a sick child on the same day as a very important meeting? I have that, too.  That stress you feel when you get the email that sports practice starts at 5:30, but you don't even get to pick up your child until 5:30, so now what do you do? I feel that.  Those tears that run down your cheek when you get into bed at night totally exhausted and frustrated because you nailed a work project but failed in making the time to help your child to nail their school project, or visa versa? Yup. Me, too.  The annoyance when you feel so good about the job you have been doing at work and as a mom only to give your house a once-over and realize that you are failing as a house-keeper? Again, right here!  
 
But, you know what else we both feel? We both get to feel that satisfaction when the boss or client calls us in to say what a great job we have been doing. We both get to feel that warmth when our children hug us and tell us they love us.  We both even get to feel good that our children are learning from our work ethic and that, as a bonus, our earnings have not only helped pay bills, but also allow us to say, "yes" when they ask for that treat in the store, sometimes.
 
This life, whether we chose it or it was handed to us, as a mom who works outside the home, is a struggle. It is a constant balancing act. But we are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  There are an enormous number of moms who feel just like you. Just do a google search of your feelings and add "mom" to the end.  I am 100% sure you will find some momma that feels just like you.
 
You know what else? I see you. People around you see you. Your family and friends see you. They are proud of you and they admire your strength. And most importantly, God sees you. He loves the effort you are making and He is giving you His graces.
 
You are doing a better job than you think. The mistake you made in your presentation or the homework book that you didn't sign doesn't define who you are.  You are imperfect, but you are imperfectly trying your best by your family and that is a beautiful thing.
 
I will pray for you, not just tonight, but every night. I will pray that you find peace in the choices you are making and strength in your path. I will pray that you feel God's love in a way that offers you comfort. I will pray that you know that you are enough.

*I just want to make clear that I think all moms are working. In this case, I am just talking to moms who work outside the home because that is the message that I was feeling about when I wrote this.  I know that all moms feel some of the same things. I hope this could go unsaid, but as you may have learned about me by now, I have a problem with over-explaining myself sometimes.

Monday, June 29, 2015

I Don't Want to be a Fraud

I had a bad day yesterday and I thought to myself about how I write this blog and often encourage people to better themselves and some days, I am failing. I do not want to seem like a fraud, so I need to make a few things clear.

While I did study communication, I am certainly no expert. In fact much of what i share is more from my life experiences than books I have read.

I am a fairly new mom, only eight years in.  I am no expert at that either.

I love my friends and my family but am not always as good to them as they deserve me to be.

I try to be a christian, but I fail. Everyday, I fail.  I am truly thankful that our God is so forgiving.

So, why do I write this blog?

I write because I love to hear from other moms. I love to learn from their successes and failures. I love when I can relate to something and feel less alone.

I write because sometimes I have an experience or a-ha moment that changes the way I look at things and I want to share that in hopes that it will help someone else to their a-ha moment.

I write because sometimes a message comes to me. I wonder, sometimes, if it is God quietly talking to me. I am sure it is just my own thoughts, quite often, but I still want to pass that message in case it is God.

I love to cook and bake and try new recipes. When I find or create a new one, I like to share it.

I know that many bloggers are not experts and are just sharing the wisdom that they have come across. I have never tried to say that I am an expert, but it was just weighing heavy on my heart to make this clear. I am a sinner and failure but I am trying. I will always try to be honest with you.


Thursday, June 25, 2015

Have Empathy for Your Kids...

...Or Sympathy if that's what you can offer.

As I watch my kids and their cousins grow up, so many memories wash over.  They go through so many things that I can relate to. So, why am I such a grown up? Why do I not empathize more? This is something I am working on. Let me explain.

When something happens with kids, for some reason, I tend to response in a harsher manner than I would to an adult. I am not sure if it because kids tend to complain more or if it is because I think they are more dramatic. I also forget what it was like to be them and want them to understand what I am telling them as if they too have lived it. But instead, maybe I should just take a minute to respect their feelings.

For example, my 18 month old often cries in the back seat because she is not a big fan of the car seat. When she cried, for a while, I would just assume that she was whining. Then, I  started to pay better attention and I noticed one day that the sun was right in her eyes and another day she had dropped her sippy cup. As an adult, I do not like the sun being in my eyes, either. I put on sunglasses or put the visor down in the car, so why would I not expect my daughter to complain about it? I also want a drink when I am thirsty.  While I cannot fully expect her to understand that I am driving and cannot get her cup, I can, at least, not get as frustrated that she is crying.

I am similar with my 8 year-old son.  He plays really hard and sometimes when he gets hurt, my first response to tell him he shouldn't have been standing on a ball. While, yes, I do need to remind him of these things to keep him from getting hurt in the future and, yes, it is frustrating that I told him 50 times not stand on round objects, he is still hurting.  Why can't I ask if he okay first and give him a little sympathy before going straight into correcting mom mode?

My last example is with my teenage nieces. They often tell me about teachers, friends and boys. When they do, I try to give them advice from my experiences. I am sure that helps them, eventually, but you know what else would help them? A listening ear and someone to tell them they understand. When a friend stabs them in the back, before telling them about how to deal with it, I am guessing they would prefer to hear that I am sorry and that it stinks to feel that way.

I am not saying that we should give up on the correction, advice or guidance, I am just saying that we should also remember the sympathy and empathy.  As adults,we have bad days and bad moods. We need a minute when we get hurt and might even let out a scream. We hate to bring work home and have a tough time pulling it together when we are tired, sometimes.  So do kids.  Kids are humans, too; Imperfect humans, just like adults.  I am going to try harder to remember that.



Mint Chocolate Cupcakes


I have a friend who is moving. When people move, and you love them, I think you should bake them things. So I did. I decided on Mint Chocolate Cupcakes. I used a chocolate cupcake recipe that I already love and then made some minor adjustments to a mint-chocolate icing that I found on the internet. They were pretty and yummy. I will be making these again!



Here is the Recipe

Cupcakes
1 Box devil's food or any chocolate cake mix
8 oz Sour Cream
1 Small package instant chocolate pudding mix
4 eggs (Yikes!)
8 oz milk (Whole is best. What? I never said these were low fat!)
½ Cup Vegetable Oil
½ Bag of Mint Choc Chips (about 5 oz)
 
1. Preheat Oven to 350
 
2. Mix all ingredients except the Mint Chips. because you do not have butter and sugar to cream, order does not really matter. If using a stand mixer, I use a low-medium. It is fast enough to incorporate a little air, but won't throw your mix everywhere.  

3. After all ingredients are fully incorporated, fold in the mint chips
 
4. Fill cupcake liners 2/3 full

5. Bake for 20-23 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean
 



Frosting (Adjusted from this recipe from My Baking Addiction) 

4 sticks (2 cups) unsalted butter, room temperature
1.5 pounds (28 ounces) confectioners' sugar, sifted
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3-4 tablespoons heavy cream
green food coloring
1/2 teaspoon pure peppermint extract
3 ounces semi sweet chocolate, melted and cooled
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
mini chocolate chips

Just a head's up...after mixing the first few ingredients, you will split the frosting into two parts.

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium-high speed for about 5 minutes or until creamy.

2.Turn the mixer down and slowly add in the confectioners' sugar until it is completely incorporated. Add in vanilla and heavy cream. Turn the mixer back up to medium-high speed and beat the mixture for about 3-4 minutes or until light and fluffy.

4. Remove half of the frosting from the mixer bowl and set aside. Add 2 drops of green dye to the remaining frosting and mix in to fully incorporate the dye. Slowly add more, if needed, to get a nice minty green color. Stir in peppermint extract. Taste and add extract to your taste.

5. Remove the mint frosting from the mixing bowl and set aside.  Add the other half of the frosting back into the bowl of your stand mixer. Add in the cooled, melted chocolate and cocoa powder. Mix until fully incorporated.



I borrowed this pictured from Martha Stewart. She has a tutorial on her site.
6. For the two-toned effect, I put each icing into a piping bag and then piped them into one icing bag next to each other rather than on top of each other.
(See Picture)

7. Pipe the frosting onto the cooled cupcakes and garnish with mini chocolate chips.


These cupcakes sounded like alot of work but really were not too bad and turned out so cute and Yummy.
 

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

No Need to Judge Me, I am Doing It Enough for the Both of Us

No, seriously, however much thought you gave to what I said or did, I probably gave it twice as much thought. I probably judged myself and researched inside myself and gave myself a harsher score than you did.

I gave a brief at work the other day and I found myself saying, "Um", more than usual.  I could hear myself saying it which distracted me, so I said it again.  I wondered if the audience was judging me, then I realized that they probably forgot about it, but I didn't.

A few days later, I made a comment disagreeing with someone. I knew what I said was okay but I spent the next 30 minutes trying to decide if I said it in the best way possible. Was there a better way that I could have worded my comment that would have had a more successful outcome?

I am not the kind of person who spends hours in the mirror caring  what others think about how I look, but I do think that in certain situations, it is important to present the best you possible.  I am also not the kind of person who will bend my morals to appeal to others, but I do try to see other perspectives and share mine in a respectful manner.  I am the kind of person who likes to see people comfortable and happy and I try to help make that happen for them when I can. As a result, I often over think what I say or rethink previous conversations or situations.  


These are the types of thoughts that go through my head...

I noticed the Daycare did not have bubble wands, I think I'll buy some. Oh wait, am I allowed to buy them? Do they have to use a certain brand? Maybe I should ask.

I have a similar story to what she is talking about, I think I will share it so she knows she is not alone. Wait? Will it look like I am trying to Bogart the conversation? Maybe I should hold the story back.

Why did I just share so much?

Did I talk too much in that meeting? Maybe they missed my point.

Why didn't I speak up more strongly about that? I know better.

As you can see, I am a constant filter for myself and even then I second guess myself.  It is not about trying to be someone else or changing for others, it is about being the best friend, employee, confidant, sister, mom, aunt and wife I can be. I feel that it is important to be self aware and strive to be the best me.

I am sure that I am not alone in my internal process, so I urge you to remember that when you go to judge someone.  People are not perfect, but they are trying and if they are like me, they are already judging themselves.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

All I am Saying, Is Give People a Chance

I keep seeing all of these quotes, memes and other funny messages about being annoyed with people.  We read them and laugh, but I can't help but wonder if after seeing too many of them, Does it change the way we see people? Are we becoming hardened to people not like us, or maybe even to people in general?

With all of the discussion about race lately, you may think that is the direction that I am going in, and while that would be worthy discussion, it is not what is on my heart for this post. What I am talking about is individual people. I am talking about judging people from what you see on the surface without giving them a chance and getting to know them.

Quite often we meet people we do not relate with.  They are not like us or like people we usually spend time with.  Maybe they seem snobby or rude but are just very shy, but we never get to know that.  Maybe them seem like an angry person, but are just frustrated due to a personal crisis at home that we know nothing about.  Maybe them seem clueless but really they have just been misinformed and our time and patience would make a world of difference for them.  Maybe they seem like a big jerk but have been walked all over their whole life and are just learning to assert themselves and still need to find the right balance.  Maybe we don't even know their personality because we judged them on the way they look.  Maybe we are uncomfortable with a mom that has multiple tattoos or we think the basketball coach can't be good because he had to rush to the first practice in his work clothes rather than workout clothes. Maybe we think this young teacher won't be able to control a class of third graders or that that mom would make an awful running partner because she is not thin.

There are all sorts of assumptions we can make about people. When we are little, we may notice differences, but they don't resonate with us. As we get older, we start to know what we want in company but are sometimes forced into relationships through sports teams, school projects or parental friendships. When that happens, sometimes we make unlikely friends. Unfortunately, too often by high school, we have let go of the people that do not fit our mold and we keep trying to fit people into a mold for years to come.

As I get older, I find myself in a similar situations as when I was in elementary school but for different reasons. I am again put in situations such as team moms, school volunteers or work where I am spending time with people that I usually wouldn't spend time with. As that happens, I get to know these people deeper over time and am sometimes surprised to really like the one I thought I could not relate to or find myself put-off by the mom who I thought fit my mold.

 
I know that all people will not relate to all people on all levels. I know that we will just find some people's company more enjoyable than others.  I am not suggesting that everyone we meet should be our best friends.  I am simply saying that we should take time to get to know others before we judge them.  At a minimum, we should be kind because we have no idea what makes people into who they are.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Blogs that I Like



As a blogger, you may have guessed that I also like to read blogs.  Considering I am a mom who works outside the home that likes to bake and do the occasional craft but needs help with organization skills and loves a good quote, you can probably guess what type of blogs like. (So how's that for a run-on sentence?)

Anyway, if you think you might like what I like, here are some blogs you might like. Please leave links to your favorite blogs in the comments.
(I am really tired, I hope this is making some sense.)


Mom Blogs
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog.htm
Jen is a mom who used to be a teacher. She writes about her family and her life. She is funny and genuine.  She self proclaims to love her home, her friends and family, writing, people and Jesus. Check her out.

http://www.christianworkingmama.blogspot.com/
Liz is a mom who has a very strong faith. Her writing is supportive and inspiring for all women and moms, but especially for those who have another job in addition to the hardest job there is, being a mom.  Let her lift you up.

http://lisajobaker.com/
I learned about Lisa Jo when I read Surprised by Motherhood.  She was born and raised in south Africa but now lives in the US. She is honest and real. If you want relatable, you'll find it here.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/
If you do not know who Ree Drummond is, you should check her out.  If you do, you probably want to smack me for picking such an obvious choice.  But, I like her. To be honest, I like her blog more than her show. I find the she translates better in writing and I like alot of her recipes.

http://www.divinesecretsofadomesticdiva.com/
This one? She's funny and relatable. She's relatabley funny. Hi, Susan.

Food Blogs
Chocolate Covered Katie
Katie writes a healthy desserts blog. If you are a dessert traditionalist, you may find some of her ideas wacky, but I have been impressed with a few and I just adjust to my taste if I want them a little sweeter. I mean, hey, even if I add a little brown sugar it is still much healthier than the typical original recipe.  The Healthy Cookie Dough Dip is what got me hooked to her blog.

The Minimalist Baker
This Bloggers goal is to make all of her recipes with 10 ingredients or less. She has many healthy recipes with some treats and substitutions.

Six Sisters Stuff
As you might expect, this is a blog created by 6 sisters. It has some great recipes. As per thier page, "Our recipes are family favorites that use ingredients that can commonly be found in your pantry and our crafts and home decor projects can be made with little or no money. We don’t claim to be amazing chefs- we just know the importance of feeding your family a home-cooked meal and sitting down to eat it together."


Home Blogs
I Heart Organizing
Ok, so once I got past my jealousy of Jen's ability to organize and was able to see through clear eyes, I really appreciated her tips. Plus, as she shows you, even her mom-car gets dirty.

The Frazzled Homemaker
The word Homemaker sounds like an old-fashioned word in some ways. However, these tips are not old fashioned. The tagline on thsi blog is, "Easy Homemaking for the busy woman, " and it is right on target.

The House that Lars Built
The is a pretty artsy blog with projects, party ideas, printables, food and life info.  If you like home ideas, you might want to give this one a look.

Org Junkie
This Blog caught me because she bites off small pieces or organization at a time. It make me feel liek I can handle it.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Why I Won't Tell You That I am Proud to be a Woman

I had a conversation with someone recently about gender and they asked me, "Aren't you proud to be a woman?" When they asked, that word, "proud," rung in my ears.  It is something we hear growing up as females. We are told to be proud to be a girl, young woman or woman. But once I gave it some thought, it feels odd. Why?

For me, the first reason that it feels odd is that I know that pride is something that we must be careful with.  Outward pride is not something that God values. It is said in the bible that he opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.  Feeling pride can eventually turn into showing pride outwardly and even arrogance.  That is not something that I want. However, I think there is more to it than this.

Even if I limited my womanly pride to an inward feeling, it still feels odd. I think that is because being a woman is not something I accomplished.  I did not work hard to be a woman. I did not sacrifice anything or practice for hours. I did not study or exert any amount of energy. I was born this way.

I am not saying that I am not glad that I am female. I love being female for many reason, perhaps the greatest of which is because being female allowed me to be pregnant and become a mother. Being part of that miracle is the most amazing thing I have ever done and being female allowed me to share in that.  I feel blessed to be a woman. I feel specifically blessed to be born, as a sister and daughter, into the family that God chose for me. I feel blessed to have the friends that I do and to marry the man that I did and to be the mother of amazing children. I feel very good about things that I have accomplished in my life and at times, I have even felt pride about them. But I am not sure pride is the right way to describe how I feel about being a woman.

So how do I feel? I feel blessed and glad to be a woman. I feel content and, ironically enough, sometimes humbled to be woman.  I feel that being a woman offers some special grace but also comes with great responsibility.

I am not sure what made me just come to this realization, or if it will actually change much in my thoughts or actions, but I am sure that I will give it more thought.

How do you feel about your gender?

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Best Marriage Advice I Ever Recieved

I have had a few friends with wedding anniversaries recently and started thinking about marriage.  I thought about my marriage and how I always come back to some of the best advice that I ever received.

That advice was to remember that marriages are not 50%/50%.  I know, I know, that goes against what we are told, but hear me out.  This advice came from my parents who told me that when you get married, you have to be willing to give 100%.  Sometimes your spouse just can't give their 50%. Whether they are sick or just having a bad day, they may only be able to give 10%, so you may have to give 90%. On the worst days, you may have to give all 100%. 
It can be hard, but try to wake up each day and look at each other and remember he/she is worth giving 100% to. They are worth giving 100% to regardless of how much they are able to give back that day. God gave you this wonderful person to love, cherish that.  If you and your spouse both understand this, than your marriage will always get the 100% that istdeserves.
I will be the first to admit that I do not always follow this concept. There are days where I allow myself to get frustrated because I have had to give more than 50% for several days. There are also days where neither my husband, nor I can give our 50%. When that happens, I can feel the strain, but eventually one of us will pick up the slack and get us back on track.  I am far from a perfect wife, but I use this advice in my path to trying to be a better one. I hope it helps you, too.
I would love to create a post of various great marriage advice. What is yours?
 

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Hey You, It's Okay to be Not to be 18

Hey you, yeah you, the one who is doing her best to defy her age. The one who has a ridiculously long beauty routine and takes daily selfies, often with a duckface.  You know who you are. You are over 30 but make sure you still buy Teen Vogue to keep up on the latest trends.  You may have even tried the bottle trick to look like Kylie Jenner (Is that the right one?)

I just want to let you know, that all of that is unnecessary. You can wear age appropriate clothes and still look stylish and even sexy. All that extra makeup doesn't take away your age, it covers up your beauty.  The selfies do not tell your facebook friends that you look pretty today, they tell us that you want us to tell you that you are pretty today.  And the duckface, well, I would like that to stop for all ages.

My point is, you're beautiful at 35, 45 or 55. You will be beautiful at 65.  There are amazing style icons of all ages who wear clothes and make-up that compliment their beauty.  I also see many moms at the baseball field and the elementary school who look incredible but don't look like their 16 year-old.

I am not a mom who does her hair every day or wears the latest fashion, but I admire moms that do. (I used to be one of you and maybe I will be again someday.) I just want to let those of you who are scared to look your age know that it is not bad. Embrace who you are.  Forty can look hot. Own it girl!

I Used to Think I was Busy

My husband and I were laughing the other day about how busy we used to think we were.

Eight years ago my son was born, and I thought having a newborn was so hard. Between the lack of knowledge and the lack of sleep, I had never been so busy in my life. Just keeping up with feedeings and laundry and me running ragged. When I went back to work, forget about it! Then, then I was really busy.

As my son got older, I slept more, and sometimes he could wear one outfit for a whole day and go more than two hours without eating.  But then he moved and talked and played and eventually he started sports and school. I was so busy.  I had to make sure school clothes and sport uniforms were clean.  I had to have food for lunches. I had to get to games and practice on time. I volunteered at the school and tried to schedule play dates. I was Bu-SY!

Then, I got pregnant with my second child.  I was tired thorugh the pregnancy and had a tough delivery. When she was born she had a milk intollerrance and gas that made her cry and cry.  I was tired, I was frustrated and I was still busy.

Now, my daughter, my second, is almost 2. She walks, she climbs, she gets into everything. It is hard to let her out of my sight for even a minute. I have to chase ths child and she is busy. Meanwhile, my son has homework and projects and sports events and CCD and, and, and...I am BUSY!

As I am writing this, I am wondering if I will be looking back in 5 years laughing about how busy I think I am now. I also wonder how many of you with 3+ kids are laughing about how busy I think I am. It's funny how things look with a little perspective.


Monday, June 15, 2015

Summer Rules for my 8 Year-Old Son that Strike a Balance



Let me start by saying that if you are a Tiger Mom looking for a strict way to keep your child on point this summer, this may not be the place for you.  I want my son to have some responsibility this summer and keep up with what he has learned, but I also feel that breaks should give our kids some time to relax.  The summer breaks have gotten shorter. Here in Maryland, our kids have about two months off.  I don't know about your kids, but my son works hard all year at school and at extra circular activities.  Some weeks and weekends we are very busy.  My son loves his sports and needs his school, but I also think taking a real break is OK.  To be honest, if he found school easier, I may do less worksheets over the summer and just learn through activities, but he is just not a kid that can afford to lose too much. 

That being said, here are my draft set of rules for weekdays during the summer at my house this year.

1. You may watch a little TV when you first wake up, but just for 30 minutes. After that, it is time to move around.

2. Each day, you need to do each of the following:
  • Read for 20 minutes. This can be your bedtime reading.
  • Play outside for at least an hour. This can include the pool or any sports camps you go to.  If it's raining, you can be active inside. (This one will be easy and I am sure it will be exceeded most days)
  • Play for 30 minutes inside without the TV on. (Toys, Board Games, drawing, etc.)
  • Do one educational worksheet, write someone a letter or do some creative writing.
  • Do one house chore
3. Unless someone is spending the night, you will be in bed by 10 pm.  (I know this may seem late for some 8 year-olds, but he would stay up until midnight if I let him. And do not worry, he gets plenty of sleep since he is not an early riser.)

4. When we are on vacation, you will still bring a book to read. The rest of the rules? Well, we'll see.

5. If you play Xbox, write at least two sentences about each game you played or team/character you created.

6. If you watch TV, write at least two sentences about each show you watch.

7. If you get bored try to come up with something to do out of the bored jar that we will make together.  If you ask Daddy what you can do more than once a day, he will give you a chore or make you write.

8. These rules can change at anytime based on your behavior. If you have been good, we may wipe all the rules and have a totally fun day. If you choose not to cooperate,  they may become more strict.

Please tell me what you think. This is my first year of making written rules. I wonder if I am being too soft or if the whole idea of written rules over the summer is ridiculous.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Momma's Summer Book List




I recently made a book list of titles that I thought my husband would like for father's day and it inspired me to make a list for myself.  You know, since I have so much down time. :-) 

I am hoping that as summer slows down, I will be able to squeeze in time for at least one or two books. If I do, here is the list I plan to choose from.

(Although I picked a few mysteries, I tried not to go with anything that I think will be a hard read. )


Our Souls at Night: A novel
A spare yet eloquent, bittersweet yet inspiring story of a man and a woman who, in advanced age, come together to wrestle with the events of their lives and their hopes for the imminent future. In the familiar setting of Holt, Colorado, home to all of Kent Haruf’s inimitable fiction, Addie Moore pays an unexpected visit to a neighbor, Louis Waters. Her husband died years ago, as did his wife, and in such a small town they naturally have known of each other for decades; in fact, Addie was quite fond of Louis’s wife. His daughter lives hours away in Colorado Springs, her son even farther away in Grand Junction, and Addie and Louis have long been living alone in houses now empty of family, the nights so terribly lonely, especially with no one to talk with.

Their brave adventures—their pleasures and their difficulties—are hugely involving and truly resonant, making Our Souls at Night the perfect final installment to this beloved writer’s enduring contribution to American literature.





Greenglass House


It’s wintertime at Greenglass House. The creaky smuggler’s inn is always quiet during this season, and twelve-year-old Milo, the innkeepers’ adopted son, plans to spend his holidays relaxing. But on the first icy night of vacation, out of nowhere, the guest bell rings. Then rings again. And again. Soon Milo’s home is bursting with odd, secretive guests, each one bearing a strange story that is somehow connected to the rambling old house. As objects go missing and tempers flare, Milo and Meddy, the cook’s daughter, must decipher clues and untangle the web of deepening mysteries to discover the truth about Greenglass House—and themselves.
(This one sounds a little cheesy, but it got great reviews and an Edgar award)


Winner of the Edgar Award for Best Young Adult Mystery
New York Times bestseller
USA Today bestseller
Publishers Weekly bestseller
When Margo Roth Spiegelman beckons Quentin Jacobsen in the middle of the night—dressed like a ninja and plotting an ingenious campaign of revenge—he follows her. Margo’s always planned extravagantly, and, until now, she’s always planned solo. After a lifetime of loving Margo from afar, things are finally looking up for Q . . . until day breaks and she has vanished. Always an enigma, Margo has now become a mystery. But there are clues. And they’re for Q.

Printz Medalist John Green returns with the trademark brilliant wit and heart-stopping emotional honesty that have inspired a new generation of readers.





Landline: A Novel
Georgie McCool knows her marriage is in trouble; it has been in trouble for a long time. She still loves her husband, Neal, and Neal still loves her, deeply — but that almost seems beside the point now.

Maybe that was always beside the point.

Two days before they’re supposed to visit Neal’s family in Omaha for Christmas, Georgie tells Neal that she can’t go. She’s a TV writer, and something’s come up on her show; she has to stay in Los Angeles. She knows that Neal will be upset with her — Neal is always a little upset with Georgie — but she doesn't expect him to pack up the kids and go home without her.

When her husband and the kids leave for the airport, Georgie wonders if she’s finally done it. If she’s ruined everything.

That night, Georgie discovers a way to communicate with Neal in the past. It’s not time travel, not exactly, but she feels like she’s been given an opportunity to fix her marriage before it starts...

Is that what she’s supposed to do?

Or would Georgie and Neal be better off if their marriage never happened?




Big Little Lies follows three women, each at a crossroads:

Madeline is a force to be reckoned with. She’s funny and biting, passionate, she remembers everything and forgives no one. Her ex-husband and his yogi new wife have moved into her beloved beachside community, and their daughter is in the same kindergarten class as Madeline’s youngest (how is this possible?). And to top it all off, Madeline’s teenage daughter seems to be choosing Madeline’s ex-husband over her. (How. Is. This. Possible?).

Celeste is the kind of beautiful woman who makes the world stop and stare. While she may seem a bit flustered at times, who wouldn’t be, with those rambunctious twin boys? Now that the boys are starting school, Celeste and her husband look set to become the king and queen of the school parent body. But royalty often comes at a price, and Celeste is grappling with how much more she is willing to pay.

New to town, single mom Jane is so young that another mother mistakes her for the nanny. Jane is sad beyond her years and harbors secret doubts about her son. But why? While Madeline and Celeste soon take Jane under their wing, none of them realizes how the arrival of Jane and her inscrutable little boy will affect them all.

Big Little Lies is a brilliant take on ex-husbands and second wives, mothers and daughters, schoolyard scandal, and the dangerous little lies we tell ourselves just to survive.




Luckiest Girl Alive is Gone Girl meets Cosmo meets Sex and the City. . . . Knoll hits it out of the park.”
Fort Worth Star-Telegram

HER PERFECT LIFE IS A PERFECT LIE.

As a teenager at the prestigious Bradley School, Ani FaNelli endured a shocking, public humiliation that left her desperate to reinvent herself. Now, with a glamorous job, expensive wardrobe, and handsome blue blood fiancé, she’s this close to living the perfect life she’s worked so hard to achieve.

But Ani has a secret.

There’s something else buried in her past that still haunts her, something private and painful that threatens to bubble to the surface and destroy everything.

With a singular voice and twists you won’t see coming, Luckiest Girl Alive explores the unbearable pressure that so many women feel to “have it all” and introduces a heroine whose sharp edges and cutthroat ambition have been protecting a scandalous truth, and a heart that's bigger than it first appears.

The question remains: will breaking her silence destroy all that she has worked for—or, will it at long last, set Ani free?



There are secrets you share, and secrets you hide....

Growing up on her family’s Sonoma vineyard, Georgia Ford learned some important secrets. The secret number of grapes it takes to make a bottle of wine: eight hundred. The secret ingredient in her mother’s lasagna: chocolate. The secret behind ending a fight: hold hands.

But just a week before her wedding, thirty-year-old Georgia discovers her beloved fiancé has been keeping a secret so explosive, it will change their lives forever.

Georgia does what she’s always done: she returns to the family vineyard, expecting the comfort of her long-married parents, and her brothers, and everything familiar. But it turns out her fiancé is not the only one who’s been keeping secrets….

Bestselling author Laura Dave has been dubbed “a wry observer of modern love” (USA TODAY), a “decadent storyteller” (Marie Claire), and “compulsively readable” (Woman’s Day). Set in the lush backdrop of Sonoma’s wine country, Eight Hundred Grapes is a heartbreaking, funny, and deeply evocative novel about love, marriage, family, wine, and the treacherous terrain in which they all intersect.In this breakout novel from an author who “positively shines with wisdom and intelligence” (Jonathan Tropper, This Is Where I Leave You), Laura Dave “writes with humor and insight about relationships in all their complexity, whether she's describing siblings or fiancés or a couple long-married. Eight Hundred Grapes is a captivating story about the power of family, the limitations of love, and what becomes of a life’s work” (J. Courtney Sullivan, Maine).


  
Throughout her blockbuster career, Jodi Picoult has seamlessly blended nuanced characters, riveting plots, and rich prose, brilliantly creating stories that “not only provoke the mind but touch the flawed souls in all of us” (The Boston Globe). Now, in her highly anticipated new novel, she has delivered her most affecting work yet—a book unlike anything she’s written before.

For more than a decade, Jenna Metcalf has never stopped thinking about her mother, Alice, who mysteriously disappeared in the wake of a tragic accident. Refusing to believe she was abandoned, Jenna searches for her mother regularly online and pores over the pages of Alice’s old journals. A scientist who studied grief among elephants, Alice wrote mostly of her research among the animals she loved, yet Jenna hopes the entries will provide a clue to her mother’s whereabouts.

Desperate to find the truth, Jenna enlists two unlikely allies in her quest: Serenity Jones, a psychic who rose to fame finding missing persons, only to later doubt her gifts, and Virgil Stanhope, the jaded private detective who’d originally investigated Alice’s case along with the strange, possibly linked death of one of her colleagues. As the three work together to uncover what happened to Alice, they realize that in asking hard questions, they’ll have to face even harder answers.

As Jenna’s memories dovetail with the events in her mother’s journals, the story races to a mesmerizing finish. A deeply moving, gripping, and intelligent page-turner, Leaving Time is Jodi Picoult at the height of her powers.

In love we find out who we want to be.
In war we find out who we are.
FRANCE, 1939
In the quiet village of Carriveau, Vianne Mauriac says goodbye to her husband, Antoine, as he heads for the Front. She doesn't believe that the Nazis will invade France … but invade they do, in droves of marching soldiers, in caravans of trucks and tanks, in planes that fill the skies and drop bombs upon the innocent. When a German captain requisitions Vianne's home, she and her daughter must live with the enemy or lose everything. Without food or money or hope, as danger escalates all around them, she is forced to make one impossible choice after another to keep her family alive.
Vianne's sister, Isabelle, is a rebellious eighteen-year-old girl, searching for purpose with all the reckless passion of youth. While thousands of Parisians march into the unknown terrors of war, she meets Gäetan, a partisan who believes the French can fight the Nazis from within France, and she falls in love as only the young can … completely. But when he betrays her, Isabelle joins the Resistance and never looks back, risking her life time and again to save others.
With courage, grace and powerful insight, bestselling author Kristin Hannah captures the epic panorama of WWII and illuminates an intimate part of history seldom seen: the women's war. The Nightingale tells the stories of two sisters, separated by years and experience, by ideals, passion and circumstance, each embarking on her own dangerous path toward survival, love, and freedom in German-occupied, war-torn France--a heartbreakingly beautiful novel that celebrates the resilience of the human spirit and the durability of women. It is a novel for everyone, a novel for a lifetime.
(This one is a little deep for Summer, but I wanted to remember it!)

A Young Manager's Old-School Views on Success in Sports and Life
Mike Matheny was just forty-one, without professional managerial experience and looking for a next step after a successful career as a Major League catcher, when he succeeded the legendary Tony La Russa as manager of the St. Louis Cardinals in 2012. While Matheny has enjoyed immediate success, leading the Cards to the postseason three times in his first three years, people have noticed something else about his life, something not measured in day-to-day results. Instead, it’s based on a frankly worded letter he wrote to the parents of a Little League team he coached, a cry for change that became an Internet sensation and eventually a “manifesto.”

The tough-love philosophy Matheny expressed in the letter contained his throwback beliefs that authority should be respected, discipline and hard work rewarded, spiritual faith cultivated, family made a priority, and humility considered a virtue. In The Matheny Manifesto, he builds on his original letter by first diagnosing the problem at the heart of youth sports−hint: it starts with parents and coaches−and then by offering a hopeful path forward. Along the way, he uses stories from his small-town childhood as well as his career as a player, coach, and manager to explore eight keys to success: leadership, confidence, teamwork, faith, class, character, toughness, and humility.

From “The Coach Is Always Right, Even When He’s Wrong” to “Let Your Catcher Call the Game,” Matheny’s old-school advice might not always be popular or politically correct, but it works. His entertaining and deeply inspirational book will not only resonate with parents, coaches, and athletes, it will also be a powerful reminder, from one of the most successful new managers in the game, of what sports can teach us all about winning on the field and in life.
(This is one is not typical for me, but looks really interesting)







Friday, June 12, 2015

25 Ideas for Our Bored Jar

I am making my first attempt at having a slightly more structured summer this year. I have come up with some rules and a making a Bored Jar this year for my 8-year-old son. Here are the ideas that I have come up with so far.
  1. Make paper airplanes
  2. Write a list of players for your ideal sports team (you pick the sport)
  3. Organize your bookshelf
  4. Do a puzzle
  5. Go outside and find 3 different bugs
  6. Play with sidewalk chalk
  7. Invent something (You can either try to create it or just draw a picture and explain how it would work)
  8. Go outside and find 3 red things in nature
  9. Put your clothes away
  10. Pull weeds in the garden
  11. Read for 10 minutes
  12. Write down 5 dinner ideas (Things you would like us to make for dinner)
  13. Draw a uniform for a sport team
  14. Write a letter
  15. Play a game on the computer from one of your school sites for 20 minutes
  16. Go feed the ducks in the duck pond
  17. Play an Xbox game that you have not played recently
  18. Watch a TV show with Dad that you both like
  19. Hide a treasure and make a treasure map
  20. Make your bed
  21. Water the flowers
  22. Play football outside
  23. Put your toys away
  24. Make a sock puppet
  25. Practice catching pop-flies
While there are some fancy versions, mine will probably be something simple like this with folded paper inside. 

Picture courtsey of www.todaysmomma.com


If you have any to add, please do so in the comments. I would love to hear your suggestions.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

To the Mom Whose Son was Screaming and Pinching You on the Way into Daycare this Morning

I just want you to know that I saw you and I am praying for you. I saw you and your 3, maybe 4, year old son get out of the car and immediately go behind it, stepping away from the school. I saw your older son trying to help.  I saw the frustration in your face as you tried to remain calm and gently talk your child into going into the center.

I spent at least 5 minutes dropping my daughter off to her classroom and as I walked out, I saw you just walking into the center and down the hall to your son's classroom.  I am guessing it took you that long to get him inside.  I heard him scream and grab at your neck. I could hear in your voice more frustration than I did outside as you told him that he may not pinch you.

I wanted to stop and talk to you. I wanted to tell you that it would be okay.  I wanted to tell you that I have sisters' whose kids had separation anxiety into elementary school but that they were now well adjusted kids. I wanted to give you a hug and tell you that nothing is wrong with your child for missing you and nothing is wrong with your parenting. I wanted to tell you that if you feel, "working mom guilt", that although it is normal, it is fine that you work. I wanted to buy you a cup of coffee or a glass of wine or a big huge piece of chocolate cake.

But, I did not to any of these things. I could see that you had your hands full, so I gave you the  most knowing and empathetic look that I could and went out to my car.

I waited in my car for about five minutes hoping you would come out. I don't know exactly what I would have said, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Eventually, I had to head to work, so said a prayer for you. Maybe I will see you another morning, maybe not. Either way, I will pray for your mornings. I will pray that this was just a fluke and that you do not have this challenge everyday. I will pray that if this is a regular thing, your sons grows out of it and that God's grace helps you to get through it until he does.

I know it is very unlikely that you will ever see this, but I just hoped that if I sent it out to the universe, maybe you would feel some sort of comfort.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Dear Coach

 Dear Coach,

We didn't get a single win this year. I bet you are frustrated and I bet you think the boys are, too. Well, let me tell you something, my son was a little frustrated, but to be honest, I think that was the least of the things he felt. Let me tell you about all of the things that came above not winning.

The boys learned alot this year. They learned how to hold their hand when they are at bat. They learned not to slow down when they run, just so they can watch the ball they just hit. They learned how to overrun first base. They learned how to cover a base when needed and what a relay is. Maybe more importantly, they learned that practice helps you improve and they learned how to lose gracefully.

The boys also gained a great experience and wonderful memories. They made new friends and got to play ball with them 3 days a week. They got to get dressed in a uniform that made them feel like a real baseball player. The got to feel how good it felt to get better and to finally have an inning end because their team scored too many runs.

My son did not talk about losing last night. He talked about how much better he got at catcher and how much he liked playing short stop and pitcher. He talked about how he'd like to try first base next year. (Which means, he'd like to play next year).  He talked about how he'll buy me a house in NYC when he plays for the Yankees so that I can come to all of his games. He talked about how good Tony's hit was and how Ethan played even when he scraped up his arm.

These boys live in the moment and it will be some time before they see how much they learned this year and much their character grew with a season like this.  They will probably be adults and maybe even have kids of their own before they realize how much time you gave this year to help them to be better and have fun. They have no idea how you probably went to work early so that you could get to practice on time or how you had to juggle your schedule to pick up uniforms and equipment and go to coaches clinics. But, let me tell you something, we, the parents, see all of that and we really appreciate you.


We appreciate your time and sacrifice. We appreciate how you taught our boys. We appreciate how you gently pushed them to get better in a way that was appropriate for 8 year-old boys. We appreciated that you were firm, but supportive and how you told them they did a great job even when they had an error. We appreciate that you cared more about their love for the game than you did their winning a game.

Please know that even though this was not a winning season, our boys are winners because of the experience that had with you.  Thank you for all that you have done for our boys.

                                                                       

                                                                        Sincerely,
                                                                        This grateful mother

Monday, June 8, 2015

Today, I am Tired

Each day I try to post about something that is relevant to me and I hope it will help or affect other moms in some way. If I am researching something or something happens in my life, that is what I write about. Well, today, I am tired. So tired. That kind of tired where I want to close my eyes at a stop light for just 2 minutes and hope no one notices.

As a result, this is where my brain is...