Today I want to talk about kids and activities. I am just starting
out in my parenting journey in terms of this, but it seems like there are quite
extreme views. Some parents seem to have
their kids in 3 sports when they are 3 years old, practicing daily at home,
sure their child is the next professional all-star. Some parents are very relaxed about sports,
playing only one season on the local boys and girls’ club team until high
school. Most parents, it seems, are
somewhere in the middle.
Jacob plays sports during the Fall, Winter and Spring by his own choice. He plays the sports he asks to play. Of
course, I nix some because I am concerned about money, time or safety (hockey is one of these right now). We have not started after school clubs because
many at his school are for the older kids. He asked once about Boy Scouts.
While I think Boy Scouts is a great idea, I am not sure how we would fit it in.
He has not asked again so I have not pursued it. I figure if he really wanted to do it, he
would ask again.
I just wonder, when is it time to focus more on a sport or two? When
is it time to play on a select or club team? When is it time to encourage more
practicing at home? I am not sure that it is time for any of these things for Jacob, but
I think it will be before I know it. I
always tell Jakey that I just want him
to have fun, but I know there is more than that. I also want him to learn to work as a team. I
want him to learn what it feels like to work hard and accomplish
something. I want him to learn to listen
to adults in various settings. I want
him to get exercise and make friends. There
is already more to sports than having fun, but when is that “more” also about
developing a skill? When is it also about striving to be the best? Striving to
win?
Don’t get me wrong, Jacob already wants to win and be the best, but
I purposely downplay that part, reminding him of all of the other important
things. At some point, however, I think
it is fine, as parents, to compliment the skill, maybe even provide some constructive
criticism and encourage him to hone on certain skills. Of course, you have to know your child and if
they want to pursue that sport or activity, but if you do, how do you encourage
appropriately. How do you know you are
not pushing so hard that they hate the sport when they are 13 or so soft that
they can’t make the high school team because the skill is not there? (oh, and I
know some kids just do not have the skill and that some just stop playing at a
certain age, but I do believe that some of it comes from parenting).
I do think it is personal for each family based on time, money
desire and parental intuition about your child.
I just hope that as Jacob gets older, and Eliana starts activities, my
inner voice helps to guide me on a good balance for my children and their activities. On another note, I might also need to win the
lottery. When did kid’s sports get so expensive, and how did I not realize how expensive
lacrosse was before I agreed to it?
By the way, my head is reeling. I feel like this could branch off
into so many topics. Here are a few:
-
How many face book updates is too many about
your child’s sports?
-
Do 6 year-olds really need $100 cleats?
-
Do parents on the sideline really think extreme
intensity about a coach, player or ref is actually going to improve their 7-year-old
child’s playing experience?
-
Should we really expect to commit so much money
to equipment and travel so young?
Anyway, this is what is on my mind today. If you have any thoughts or guidance, please share!
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