Monday, June 2, 2014

Kids Activities - How Much is Too Much...or Too Little? Looking for your thoughts, please!

So today is merchandise Mondays and had planned to write about a new beverage container that I bought so that I could make my favorite cold brewed iced coffee.  Unfortunately, I could not find time to make my iced coffee so instead I am going to write about something else.  I know it breaks the rules, but I am just a crazy rule-breaker.  Well, really I am not. I am actually an annoying rule-follower most of the time.  If you do not believe me, ask my friends about the time at our High School beach week that I declared some rules. Maybe, something about no ball in the house?! But for today, I will be crazy. Well, that is, if your definition of crazy is actually quite boring because it means breaking a rule that is not even really a rule. But I digress.

Today I want to talk about kids and activities. I am just starting out in my parenting journey in terms of this, but it seems like there are quite extreme views.  Some parents seem to have their kids in 3 sports when they are 3 years old, practicing daily at home, sure their child is the next professional all-star.  Some parents are very relaxed about sports, playing only one season on the local boys and girls’ club team until high school.  Most parents, it seems, are somewhere in the middle. 

Jacob plays sports during the Fall, Winter and Spring by his own choice.  He plays the sports he asks to play. Of course, I nix some because I am concerned about money, time or safety (hockey is one of these right now).   We have not started after school clubs because many at his school are for the older kids. He asked once about Boy Scouts. While I think Boy Scouts is a great idea, I am not sure how we would fit it in. He has not asked again so I have not pursued it.  I figure if he really wanted to do it, he would ask again.

I just wonder, when is it time to focus more on a sport or two? When is it time to play on a select or club team? When is it time to encourage more practicing at home? I am not sure that it is time for any of these things for Jacob, but I think it will be before I know it.  I always tell  Jakey that I just want him to have fun, but I know there is more than that.  I also want him to learn to work as a team. I want him to learn what it feels like to work hard and accomplish something.  I want him to learn to listen to adults in various settings.  I want him to get exercise and make friends.  There is already more to sports than having fun, but when is that “more” also about developing a skill? When is it also about striving to be the best? Striving to win?

Don’t get me wrong, Jacob already wants to win and be the best, but I purposely downplay that part, reminding him of all of the other important things.  At some point, however,  I think it is fine, as parents, to compliment the skill, maybe even provide some constructive criticism and encourage him to hone on certain skills.  Of course, you have to know your child and if they want to pursue that sport or activity, but if you do, how do you encourage appropriately.  How do you know you are not pushing so hard that they hate the sport when they are 13 or so soft that they can’t make the high school team because the skill is not there? (oh, and I know some kids just do not have the skill and that some just stop playing at a certain age, but I do believe that some of it comes from parenting).  

I do think it is personal for each family based on time, money desire and parental intuition about your child.  I just hope that as Jacob gets older, and Eliana starts activities, my inner voice helps to guide me on a good balance for my children and their activities.  On another note, I might also need to win the lottery. When did kid’s sports get so expensive, and how did I not realize how expensive lacrosse was before I agreed to it?

By the way, my head is reeling. I feel like this could branch off into so many topics. Here are a few:

-          How many face book updates is too many about your child’s sports?

-          Do 6 year-olds really need $100 cleats?

-          Do parents on the sideline really think extreme intensity about a coach, player or ref is actually going to improve their 7-year-old child’s playing experience?

-          Should we really expect to commit so much money to equipment and travel so young?

Anyway, this is what is on my mind today.  If you have any thoughts or guidance, please share!

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