There are many things I do with and say to my kids during the day. Most of them are things that come naturally like calling them for dinner, reminding them about manners, telling them to brush their teeth and stopping them from hurting themselves or someone else. Then there are a some things that I consciously do to try to make their day better, help our relationship or help them grow into better people. Here are 5 things that I try to do with them each day for that latter purpose.
Laugh - Laughing creates endorphins that are so good for you. I hear my kids laugh all the time, but I also know that daily life makes kids feel like parents are the cause of anger, frustration and disappointment. While I am okay with that because I know those feelings may come along with keeping some sort of order and discipline, I also want them to associate positivity with me. If nothing else, I sit on the floor with them and tickle them or tell stupid jokes. I feel that even a few minutes of laughter together a day can create positive connections and memories.
Pray - Although bedtime can be disjointed and chaotic some nights with the my kids having a pretty big age gap (6 years), I try to at least say a small prayer with each of them, or together. More, I try to pray in daily situations so that my kids can see it is not just something that I do out of habit. We pray when we pass a cart accident or when we just can't pull ourselves together or when we are grateful.
Remind them of their positive attributes - Each night before my kids go to bed, I tell them how great they are. I learned this from my sister. I tell that they are smart, funny, creative, special, kind, giving or whatever positive they have displayed that day. I also tell them that I love them, their dad and sibling loves them, that our whole big family loves them and that God loves them.
Ask them about their day (And really listen) - I can remember when I first started dating my husband that every time I would see him, he would ask about my day and ask questions about my response. It felt so good to have him really be interested. It reminded me of being a child and talking about my day around the dinner table. I want my kids to know that I really care about what they have to say. I also want to know more about their day than that it was, "fine." I want to know about the good and the bad. I also want them to learn that when people value you, they value what you have to say.
Say, "Yes" - I usually feel like that commercial where all the mom says is, "no." Between a 2 year-old who is into everything and an 8 year-old who always want to do or buy some crazy thing, there is alot of "no" at my house. I want my kids to hear me say yes. I want them to know that some of the things they value are worth my consideration. I want to create an environment where there is some positivity. I have also learned, over time, that I can say yes in situations where I would have said no. For example, when my son asks for dessert without eating enough dinner, I can say, "No, you didn't eat your dinner", or I can say, "Yes, after you finish dinner." It is the same thing, but it feels different. I also try to say as much as possible when it comes to them wanting my time. I work outside the home, so we only get a few hours together a day. I do not want all of their memories to be that I cooked or cleaned and spent not time with them. What kinds of positive things do you do, intentionally, with your children?
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