I Had a Cesarean Section and That’s Ok - My thoughts on my and C-sections in general

I was just informed that it is C-Section Awareness month. I never knew there was such a thing, but I am taking advantage of it as a reason to post about some things that have been on my mind.

I keep hearing this debate about how safe C-sections are, or are not, and how women are electing to have them for convenience and personal reasons. I just want to make a few things clear, from my perspective. Please keep in mind that this is not a medical research article, it is just my opinion, but I hope it makes you think or that you even find comfort in it.  

Many C-Sections are not planned.  Please do not lump them all together. So I hear there are women out there who plan a C Section from the moment of conception.  They ask early, thinking it will be the better option, even without medical need. This, however, is not typically the case. To be honest, even if it was, and only 10% of women had a section for medical reason, it is still worth not lumping all of the reasons together.  There are many women out here who had a C-section because it was in the best interest of both mother and baby. Many of these women, did not have this in their birthing goals. In the cases where they had time, parents may have poured over research to make their decisions. In the cases where they did not have much time, decisions were often made with thought and prayer. Please do not group all sections together.  

Some moms that have had C-Sections already have a complex, don’t make them feel worse. As I stated above, many moms did not want a C-section and some feel a bit robbed. I know that I did.  I watched my nieces and nephews’ births and I wanted that. I wanted that amazing, natural miracle just like I had cried over with tears of joy several times.  My first C-section, with my son, was followed by a great recovery. I was blessed. However, I felt, at the time, as if my birthing trophy was smaller than that of women who had vaginal births. I saw the strength that it took to push that baby out and I had a doctor do that work for me. Although I labored for hours before the C-section, I felt disappointed as if my ride had been cut short. When you talk to a friend who is facing, or has had, a C, please remember to be supportive. It may have been harder for them than you realize.  

When your baby’s life is in danger and an expert tells you this is the best option, you listen. As with most moms I did all sorts of reading with my first pregnancy.   I knew statistics, facts, and had heard and read many opinions on pregnancy and birthing.  During those months I also created a great bond with my physicians. These were doctors that I had been to for years, but now I was visiting them often and having many a discussion about pregnancy and birthing. I trusted them. Then, my health started to go downhill pushing me towards being induced.  Again, I read all about the preeclampsia that I was facing and talked to my doctor to make the best decision for my family.  As my labor progressed and C-section became the best option, I looked at this doctor that I had trusted for months.  I looked at this expert, this trained professional who knew more about birth than I even could and she thought this was my best option, so I agreed.  To be honest, I agreed gratefully.  This tiny woman had full confidence that she had a way to safely bring my baby into this world. I cried and prayed, but never felt the need to disagree.  

What’s good for one is not what’s good for all.  Our babies are each unique and so are our birthing experiences. If you ask 100 moms the best way to carry out various parenting tasks you will get 100 different answers for many of them. Some answers may seem similar, but they will all have their own spin. This is also the case with pregnancy.  I might think that it is ok to have a glass of wine on two different occasions while I am pregnant, while other women have a glass of wine each month and some don’t even have one sip.  I may think that ginger candies are the best cure for morning sickness while others have their own tricks. Birthing is the same.  You may think that having a C-section is an awful option.  However, there are moms who think that water or at home births are an awful option. The point is, we are different.  As long as we are all doing the best thing for our families, can’t that be enough?  

Having a C-Section is hard, too. A Cesarean section does not carry the same birthing pains that a vaginal labor and birth do, but that does not mean it is easy. I would try to describe, but this post from Cord Momma does a great job, so I will direct you there. My favorite line is, "And while most of us would like to curl up with a bowl of ice cream and a stack of movies after a major surgery, c-section mamas do just the opposite. They nurture and love and bond with their needy, beautiful babies."

We’re all moms. We all carried babies, delivered them, held a newborn for the first time, had trouble adjusting and became moms. Let’s find some connection in that instead of separation in our birthing experiences.  

I should add that at the end of the day, I am Ok with having had 2 C-sections. After some time, I realize that I was not robbed. I was blessed with two beautiful babies who simply wanted to come into the world in a less traditional way. And as for my "trophy", with some time and reflection, it has grown. :-)