Without kids - You stop at the light. Perhaps you check your reflection in the mirror, change the radio station or take a quick look at your phone. Mostly, however, you just wait for the light to turn green.
With kids - This tends to go two ways; a red light can be blessing or a curse. Sometimes a red light is the blessing that allows you to turn around and grab a juice cup or change the DVD on a long trip. If you are really lucky and your kids are happily sitting in the car, you may get to actually apply some mascara or lipstick that you had no time to apply in the house. Other times, the red light is the curse that makes your baby cry because the car stopped, so you spend the entire light inching forward ever so slowly to trick your dear child into thinking you are still moving.
2. Going to sleep
Without kids - You decide you are tired. You brush your teeth and wash your face then you get in bed and go to sleep.
With kids - You drag your self exhausted to your room. After putting on pajamas, you brush your teeth and wash your face.
Then, before getting into bed, you check on your kids. You push one back into the middle of the bed because he is about to fall off and you turn off the ridiculously bright light he insists on falling asleep with hoping that he does not wake up in the middle of the night realizing it is dark. Meanwhile you are grateful that because he is fully potty trained, you do not have to walk his limp body into the bathroom to try to get him to go potty ,anymore. Then you go check the other child. This one is a light sleeper so you are quiet as can be but you need to make sure her blanket is on because, although she kicks it off as she falls asleep, she also wakes up in the middle of the night when she is cold. After all kids are checked on and seem ready to sleep through the night, you have one more thing to do...go to the bathroom. You used to go before checking on the kids, but since the second one was born, you have to go the second before going to bed or you will have to go again, anyway. 3. Eating dinner
Without kids - You sit at the table, put food on your plate and eat dinner. Perhaps you get up to grab a drink.
With kids - After getting drinks for the family, you sit down and put food on everyone's plate, cutting up meat into age appropriate sizes and pass said plates out. After arguing with one child about eating vegetables, the other child has already eaten all of the starchy item and you start your speech about how they also have to eat the protein and veggie before they can have more potatoes. At this point you are finally ready to put your first bite of now luke-warm food in your mouth and someone spills a drink. You help them to clean up the drink that you are glad was only water and finally get to finish your own plate, wondering why you are not thinner considering how often your meals are disrupted. On a happy note, since the toddler is sleepy after dinner, it is cute how she wants to come put her head on your lap after you eat.
4. Paying for groceries
Without kids - You get out cash or a card and pay for your items. Afterwards, you thank the cashier and head out of the store.
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| Grammar friends, try to ignore that it should be, "quickly." |
5. Talking on the phone
Without kids - You answer the phone, maybe you pause the TV, you talk and you hang up.
With kids - You look at the phone trying to decide if it is worth the call, meanwhile looking at the time. You realize that since it is your sister, who you talk to often, it may not be too long of a call.
Dinner is over and you have 30 minutes before bedtime rituals start so you decide to answer the phone. Within 2 minutes of answering the call, your daughter, who has not wanted your attention for an hour, suddenly is desperate for you to help her put a piece in her puzzle. After you get the puzzle piece in, you try to focus back on your conversation. After another two minutes, your son decides it is a great time to have a dance party with his sister. You think this is adorable and great because they are entertaining each other and having fun. That is, until they turn the music up so loud that you cannot hear a thing. After reminding them of appropriate volume, you apologize to your sister and return to the conversation. Just when you get to point of her call, one of her kids falls and this small bump that would not normally need attention needs her every bit of attention, right now! At this point, you and your sister decide that you will just talk after the kids go to sleep and remember why you typical ignore the phone anyway. 6. Going to the bathroom
Without kids - I think a typical trip to the bathroom is self explanatory.
With kids - So, this is pretty similar to the phone conversation, in that your kids, who have been ignoring you all of a sudden need your attention but you are in the bathroom.In addition, water is very attractive to kids, so you just might get some company of a little friend who needs to wash their hands, aka play in the water. Oh, and don't even think of locking the door, it is not worth the misery you may face when you get out. Who knows what damage could be caused in the short time you are behind that closed door.
7. Folding laundry
Without kids - You pull clothes out of the dryer and fold them. Maybe you put them in piles by drawer and then you put them away.
With kids - As soon as someone offers to, "help" you immediately feel torn between wanting to teach responsibility and realizing that their assistance will take twice as long. You vowed to be a better mom this week so you let them help. As they fold the clothes into little balls that you will have to re-fold, you try to praise them while helping them to improve. Nothing changes, so you just start smoothing out the clothes when they are not looking. Once you have the clothes folded in piles by family member the little one comes in so excited to see you that she knocks over two of the piles. You are kind of mad but kind of relieved that you now have an excuse to fold the clothes the right way, anyway.
8. Running back in the house
Without kids - You realize that you forgot your work I.D. on your dresser, so you turn the car off and run back in the house to grab it.
With kids - You realize that you forgot your work I.D. on your dresser, so you turn the car off and look in the review mirror. It took you an extra 5 minutes to get to the car because the toddler has become very independent and needed to walk down the stairs and get in the car ALL BY HERSELF! You cannot imagine going through this process again, but you hate to leave her in the car alone while you go all the way in the house and run upstairs to get your I.D. so you call your husband on your cell phone. You are thankful he is still home but he meets you at the door not happy because he just got out of the shower and is in a towel. You make an offer that you probably won't keep about later tonight and run back to the car. 9. Buying food at a counter
Without kids - You walk into Chipotle and look over the menu. You decide to order your usual burrito. You salivate as they make it, pay and find a table to sit at.
With kids - You walk into Chipotle and look over the menu. You do not come often so you want to make the right choice. After choosing your food, you try to see what they have that will satisfy the kids who have now told you twice that they really wanted Subway. You get to the end of the counter and pay while looking at the tray of food as you hold the toddler. You quickly try to figure out how you will carry a tray of food and drinks while holding a toddler. You know you will spill something so you put her down, praying she doesn't run. She actually holds her big brother's hand so you breathe a sigh of relief as you all get to to the table in an uneventful fashion.
Okay, so maybe it is not all that calm, but a girl can pretend, right?
10. Hearing I love you and thank you
Without kids - Hearing I love you feels so good when it comes from someone who you love, no matter who they are. It feels great to feel loved and hearing it can be good for your soul. The same goes for appreciation. It feels good when your work gets noticed.
With kids - So, I am not taking away the love from a parent, spouse or friend. That love is awesome, but when your kids tell you they love you and they really mean it, it just melts your heart. It is one of the warmest feelings...EVER. Perhaps the second best phrase you can hear from your kids is, "thank you." On a daily basis, you do so many thankless tasks that when your kids get old enough to appreciate you and show appreciation without being told, it is amazing. You know, in that moment, that the things you say and do are really sinking in. Kids can be tough, but there are just some amazing moments that make all the tough stuff melt away for a short while.
*Note, before I get a bunch of nasty comments (well, if I get any views and comments) please know that this is meant to be funny, relate-able and a little tongue-in cheek. No, my kids do not constantly act like hellions and no, I do not hate them. Also, I know life without kids can be tough and awesome. Please just take this with a of grain of salt.
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