Monday, March 7, 2016

Living with a Toddler, My Toddler, My Independant Toddler

My daughter is two. VERY TWO.  She is every meme you have ever seen rolled into one.  I live on the corner of , "mommy, please hold me" and, "I no like that, mommy, leave my lone." You may know this place, it is in Toddlerville which lies just on the edge of Tantrumtown.

I recently saw something that said, I live in a house ruled by a tiny tyrant that I made.     Yup!

Each day starts out new and I am sure that I am going to deal better with her challenges.  I am sure this is the day that she is going to let me help her put her shoes on without a fight.  I hold on to the belief that today she will not pitch a fit about getting dressed. I even, naively, think that she might not create a delay on our way out the door.  I also allow false beliefs about myself such as the thought that I will not yell today.

Although my hopes are quickly dashed, they are dashed by an adorable face joined by a squeaky little voice that seems so excited to see me.  Somehow, this saves my sanity.

During the week, when I am at work, I spend my time wishing that I could spend more time with her.  I hate dropping her off and look forward to picking her up.  
I spend my weekends wondering how stay-at-home-moms do not end up in an insane asylum. Seriously, ladies, you are special people.

Sometimes I wonder how I can think this is so hard. I mean, I have done this before.  I have been through the toddler years, and I got through them with my sanity intact.  I wonder if it is because I am a few years older or because I now have sports, school and other activities going on with my older child. 

I also wonder if it is because my little princess is not like her brother before her. I am convinced that this is most of it. She is so much more strong-willed and independent. At least these are the words my pediatrician says I am supposed to use.  He also says she has moxie. I suppose that is one way to describe a two year old that can bring her mother to tears.

Before you comment, yes we discipline her. Yes, we are consistent. And, yes, we are firm.  but this child, this child is a slow learner.  Well, that's a lie, this child is choosing a tough path just to make sure I know where she stands.  Someday, this child who will undo do what I did just so she can do things her way, will be a leader.  Someday, she will pave new roads.  Someday, my girl will be a strong woman making her way in the world.

In the meantime, I am just going to have to hope I can make it through these years, even if it is with a little more grey and a few more wrinkles.  Thank goodness, God made her so funny and cute so that between falling on the floor screaming and tell me to, "stop talking",  I can enjoy her little laugh and her adorable little dances while she sings Baa Baa Black Sheep and Let it Go.

Oh, and if you were looking for any advice, my apologies. I do not have any today. I do have empathy for you and I can offer you a place to commiserate. We, parents of toddlers, need to stick together.