When Did We Get So Uptight?

I love reading blogs and articles from other mothers about the ups and downs of parenting. However, lately, I see that there seem to be a lot of “rules” and a strict need to stay within their confines. How did that happen? Everything is so structured; even play time is “structured play.”

What really got me thinking this was article that a mom wrote on HuffPost about being “shamed” for giving her kids pretzels in the mall. What amazed me, was not only that someone made her feel bad for eating a pretzel with her kids, but also, that she felt the need to defend it. She explains that she and her kids eat healthy and pretzels are one of the few things she bends on.  I get trying to feed your family healthy things, but for so many people, it seems that they are doing this because it is in the “new-and-improved parent rulebook.”  There are these expectations that have been put out there that seem to think families should all live in a similar box, but why?

How did things get so structured? What happened to the freedom of being a child? Do kids even climb trees anymore or might that risk their future MLB career that their parents are nurturing at age 5 by already paying for private batting practice?

Even summers seem so structured.  Kids are constantly at camps and “enrichment” activities. Not only is their TV time limited, but so is their free play time.  Who says that kids can’t learn just as much playing some days as they can in extra-curriculars? Playtime uses their imagination and teaches them the rules of the playground, which often translate into the rules of life.  

Found on Vanessa Hudgens Tumbler

Now, before you get all excited and think that my child lives like Tarzan with no rules, watching TV all day and going to bed at midnight, let me be honest, I am the queen of the rule-followers and love structure. I also love research and respect that our kids are healthier and safer because of safety strides that have been made for things like car-seats and healthier lunches. I just think we need to loosen up a bit and remember that most things, in moderation, are fine.  A pretzel at the mall or even a candy bar once in a while is not going to ruin our kids’ organs or their eating-habits forever.  Skipping reading time before bed because their favorite team is playing in the playoffs and they want to watch the last few minutes is not going to make them illiterate. And, I even think that going out of the house in striped pants and character shirt that doesn’t match does not mean that they won’t be respectably dressed adults.

I am not saying that rules and structure are not important, I just think, maybe, we need to loosen up a little.