All I am Saying, Is Give People a Chance

I keep seeing all of these quotes, memes and other funny messages about being annoyed with people.  We read them and laugh, but I can't help but wonder if after seeing too many of them, Does it change the way we see people? Are we becoming hardened to people not like us, or maybe even to people in general?

With all of the discussion about race lately, you may think that is the direction that I am going in, and while that would be worthy discussion, it is not what is on my heart for this post. What I am talking about is individual people. I am talking about judging people from what you see on the surface without giving them a chance and getting to know them.

Quite often we meet people we do not relate with.  They are not like us or like people we usually spend time with.  Maybe they seem snobby or rude but are just very shy, but we never get to know that.  Maybe them seem like an angry person, but are just frustrated due to a personal crisis at home that we know nothing about.  Maybe them seem clueless but really they have just been misinformed and our time and patience would make a world of difference for them.  Maybe they seem like a big jerk but have been walked all over their whole life and are just learning to assert themselves and still need to find the right balance.  Maybe we don't even know their personality because we judged them on the way they look.  Maybe we are uncomfortable with a mom that has multiple tattoos or we think the basketball coach can't be good because he had to rush to the first practice in his work clothes rather than workout clothes. Maybe we think this young teacher won't be able to control a class of third graders or that that mom would make an awful running partner because she is not thin.

There are all sorts of assumptions we can make about people. When we are little, we may notice differences, but they don't resonate with us. As we get older, we start to know what we want in company but are sometimes forced into relationships through sports teams, school projects or parental friendships. When that happens, sometimes we make unlikely friends. Unfortunately, too often by high school, we have let go of the people that do not fit our mold and we keep trying to fit people into a mold for years to come.

As I get older, I find myself in a similar situations as when I was in elementary school but for different reasons. I am again put in situations such as team moms, school volunteers or work where I am spending time with people that I usually wouldn't spend time with. As that happens, I get to know these people deeper over time and am sometimes surprised to really like the one I thought I could not relate to or find myself put-off by the mom who I thought fit my mold.

 
I know that all people will not relate to all people on all levels. I know that we will just find some people's company more enjoyable than others.  I am not suggesting that everyone we meet should be our best friends.  I am simply saying that we should take time to get to know others before we judge them.  At a minimum, we should be kind because we have no idea what makes people into who they are.